Meanwhile, I am enjoying a new mile a day walk video with the same mellow Leslie Sansone. Doing the same mile video over and over — Morning Mile, is what I had — gets old so fast, so this is one video with 5- 1 mile workouts, each with a little variation, and so far so good. The total of 6 1-miles, even at just 15 minutes a pop, has been a nice thing to work in on my morning “Get Up! alarm”. I have room right in the office, and it’s an easy way to make the most of a break from desk-time.

Still haven’t really managed to work in any real extended workout back into the routine, but I have been digging up new options. Kit has all the Beachbody-p90x dvds at her house for when we manage to meet up there, and I’ve now gotten all the Beachbody-Insanity on the video share here. I guess we’re both crazy! Loaded up some of the higher-rated free Netflix videos to stream at home, too.

Lastly, picked up some toe-socks (that fit!) which have made the VFFs a whole lot more comfortable to workout in. Those and the updated Nike+ software and Nike band should prompt me to hit the treadmill ASAP — I’m thinking today!

Okay, now nothing left but that boring supplements info:

First, “glucomannan” — the main ingredient of “The Fill Pill” from few years ago — now offered much cheaper than the “brand name”. Essentially, a fibrous pill, washed down with a lot of water, to expand in the stomach and cause a feeling of fullness. I’m already taking a daily multi-vitamin, but you can find these that include vitamins as they dissolve as well. I’m doing 2 pills about every 2-3 hours, and so far so good. Took a couple days to get used to them and get the timing/dosage working for me. Two pills before or after a small snack feels like you ate a big meal, and is quite satisfying. Taking them and attempting to skip a meal left me mentally crazy even if I didn’t feel physically hungry — talked myself into eating a meal “because I should”, and too much food and pills makes one quite uncomfortable. Best so far, 2 pills, big glass of water, then a small nosh — like a string cheese or a small yogurt — with another full glass of liquid, and I feel full for hours. Only side effect I’ve noticed, and it could be mental, is that I’m dying of thirst all the time.

Also restarted my previous purchase of “Xenadrine” — which is just caffeine and herbs which are supposed to promote metabolism. Added this back because I was just feeling sluggish — probably from the lack of coffee or influx of massive amounts of water — and the lingering sickness. When i remember to take them, I do feel more mentally and physically “on” for a while. Better able to focus.

Lastly, I’m going to start “Super Citrimax”. The supplement I have includes Chromium — which I’ve taken before with good result, when I remembered. This is a highly rated non-prescription appetite suppressant, and the Chromium, often used to help with blood pressure issues, helps balance glucose usage. It’s likely just been the added caffeine from the Xenadrine — which I will stop when I start the Super Citrimax — but I’ve been feeling the pulse racing lately. When I forget I’ve already had the Xenadrine and chug some diet soda at dinner, it can sure tell soon after.

Alice in Chains - 2010

After a long hiatus the members of ALICE IN CHAINS have decided to honor their musical legacy by taking their beloved songs to the road this spring/summer. JERRY CANTRELL, MIKE INEZ and SEAN KINNEY will be joined by WILLIAM DUVALL, who will handle lead vocals for the group’s five U.S. club shows and overseas festival performances in Europe and Southeast Asia.

KINNEY told Reuters, “We’re not trying to replace Layne…We want to play these songs one more time, and if it seems like the right thing to do, it’ll happen. I don’t know how long it will go or where it will take us. It’s kind of a tribute to Layne and our fans, the people who love these songs.”

Alice in Chains - 1992

After the 2002 death of LAYNE STALEY, the members of ALICE IN CHAINS continued on with their projects until a 2005 benefit in Seattle. Overwhelmed by the Tsunami, they were moved to put together a charity show for CARE. It was the first time the band performed together in eight years. Five months later, KINNEY posed the question, “Should we go round the world and play these songs one more time.” Their March 2006 performance on the “VH1 Decades Rock Live” tribute to Heart in Atlantic City confirmed that their fans still wanted to hear them live. This year, JERRY CANTRELL, SEAN KINNEY and MIKE INEZ are thrilled to be reunited and returning to the music they created and the legacy that is ALICE IN CHAINS.

Obviously the original notion of “one more time” and “we’re not replacing Layne” has turned into “these songs are a part of us, so we will play them even though we have a new album”. I guess this was still the concert for me, as they played everything I loved. I understand, though, that in 2007 they did a tour opening for Nine Inch Nails in Australia… now that would have been my concert. Just kill me afterwards, since I couldn’t top it.

I’d been actively avoiding information about AiC 2.0 for a long time, and only really started listening to their new release lately. As James put it “it sounds like all the AiC I don’t care for” — which is, of course, all the AiC I play over and over singing, and apparently that much is true for at least Bruce, too. I like the new stuff because it sounds like the old stuff — which just adds to the jive punk doing his Layne Staley impression vibe to me. I keep calling him “jive” because that massive fro — though cool as hell — does not the lead singer of a “grunge” band make, and “punk” because the dude had so much energy he made the rest of the band look like they needed wheelchairs. The Atlanta born Duval, I discovered, is 42, a whole year younger than Jerry Cantrell. So, obviously the “vibe” being  off is just visually to me. Close your eyes and for the most part, those old songs sound like those old songs — hell probably better than the latter years drug-attled Staley would have sounded on tour — or so I continue to tell myself.

I guess bottom line, these guys have the Alice in Chains sound that I loved, Duvall has the voice, I’m enjoying the new stuff and happy to hear the old stuff, so Layne or no, I’m a fan. Wish I had tickets for tonight, too.

Oh, she hates the winter, all the snow they’ve had, the cold, the insane electric bill from when her heat pump freaked out, and now all the worrying about having enough wood for the fireplace. However, she took action and traded her — my old car, actually — in on something newish, and it was her first time picking out a car on her own. Sure, she stuck with Chevy — channeling the spirit of Dad — and she got a 4-door silver suv when she traded in her 4-door silver suv, but she did it herself.

At first I thought she was just happy with the purchase of a more reliable vehicle with a working radio and the confidence she could leave that boring winter whiteness if she really wanted, but I’m starting to suspect she’s feeling a bit empowered at her own ability to make decisions. This coming after her taking the reins in December to set up her own cable/phone/internet and consciously keep me out of the loop so I couldn’t arrange payment for her. She was so happy to call and tell me to be sure to stop paying the bill on her old service because she was canceling it.

I’m not sure why it’s taken Mom so long after Dad’s passing to come into her own, but she finally seems to be doing it. I’m not saying selling the house will be next, but here’s hoping that she continues to feel her own empowerment so that she can truly live and enjoy these years she’s been blessed with. I think it’s been a struggle for all of us kids to try to spend any time with the mom who just couldn’t be convinced of her own worth and just wasn’t sure why she was still around at all. Sure, she’s entitled to be the sad, mourning widow, but it was more than that. She’s just been really lost for a long time.

It was only so recent as last year we had our big blow-up, as she finally got so frustrated with us she told us all she would never visit or call because she was purposely trying to drive us all away — so we wouldn’t miss her when she was gone, the way we all miss dad. Of course, that… backfired… because it caused us to stop visiting and calling her, until she eventually came around and started reaching out to us again. Soon it seemed she’d given up that tactic all together, and thank goodness for it. Though, I’m not sure it was tactic on her part rather than speaking from her place of deep depression.

She’s found the happy place now, though, and we are all relieved. Of course, she is still being mom with her crazy mishaps surrounding getting used to the new vehicle (where is that gas tank?), and her crazy stories of going to the doctor (you really think anybody would take this medicine after you tell them those side effects?), and her crazy stories of things she did around the house that could have been disastrous (ever used the vacuum on fireplace ashes, anybody?) but somehow worked out — but that’s how she keeps life interesting for herself. The fact that she’ll call and tell us about them makes me happy.

I swear, if she were of a different generation she’d be a crazy online journal writer chronicling all this hilarious crap — just like me. Well, now, there I’ve gone and admitted I’m in yet another way like my mother. I must be in a happy place, too.

You can guess the rest. It was a long day of sitting on my butt in the regular computer chair, but it was a very productive work day. Coffee + fiber & cereal 10ish, kashi frozen meal 2ish, and maybe a slightly smaller than normal portion for me dinner 6ish. No snacking, no hunger pangs, so great diet day for me. Her it is midnight and I’m still not even snacky… unless I start to think about what there is to snack on… but that’s another problem altogether.

Anywho, so fell back into a rut of sitting too still in front of the computer and not remembering to get up, but at least didn’t overeat. Had planned to walk on the treadmill some more tonight as we watched more Olympics, but somehow JamesT and I both seemed to forget the Olympics and get caught up in other things. I sat back down and ended up sitting/working another four hours instead of doing anything productive… well, productive for my health at least.

Tomorrow should be a good day, though. Any work for work will be at my own pace — fingers crossed — since I’m off the clock. Also have plenty of household chores to accomplish for the week — which is movement, and I am looking forward to some treadmill/Olympics viewing! Still can’t believe I completely spaced tonight.

 After reading more reminders about keeping up with daily steps, I decided to pull the old elliptical out of storage and put it upstairs. Hopefully it can make my scheduled work breaks more productive — so when my alarm says “Get up!” then I can get up and go!

Have also had better luck today in the VFFs by applying a little Body Glide anti-chafing balm to my troublesome left-foot — the flat one!  More toe raises and stretching today. Looking forward to stronger ankles and finding out if it’s possible to actually fix a flat foot.

Two dietary revisions over the past 24-hours. First, a little cup of dry Special K Chocolatey delight, with just a sprinkle of coconut mixed in seems to make a satisfactory substitute for a girl scout cookie craving. Yay!

Second, I added back coffee, with sugar-free creamer and benefiber to the daily routine. May switch back to some teas with the creamer and fiber, but today I was just craving the coffee. Forgot how filling the combination could be. I credit my tiny cereal breakfast and string cheese with slice of ham lunch without hunger pangs today entirely to the extra fiber and coffee richness.

More Olympics tonight, so hopefully that will mean some time on the treadmill after dinner! May this good day be the start to a great week on the project!

I was down a pound this morning for this week, though I can’t say it’s for much effort. At least after today — I have snotted and sneezed and slacked on exercise. Did knock out quite a chunk of work today, though, so at least I am not feeling so overwhelmed to start this upcoming week.

Didn’t even put on the VFFs today. The cold meds I’ve popped today managed to knock me out twice for a little while in front of the tv, so I’ve just let them. Slack slack slack. Snot snot snot. Body woke up in revolt to doing much of anything today, so I’ve given in and not pushed it.

Still passed a pleasant enough Valentine’s Day with JamesT. Did not allow feeling crappy convince me to not cook as planned today, which I’m happy about. Potential snow overnight again might make travel early tomorrow bad, but I’d already not planned to bootcamp in the morning after today.

Once again, tomorrow is another day, and also the start to week three. Let’s just hope tonight I’m not allergic to sleeping anymore.

Ran across a recent article on CNN Health about barefoot running, it’s here.  It’s already been interesting to me that with a couple days of toe raises my ankles and arches aren’t having much pain using the VFFs — if it could be true it’s been my shoes allowing certain muscles to atrophy to cause the arch pain, then I may have a tennis shoe bonfire in a couple months.

Just as to status, no really intense cardio workouts lately, just strength, but my stomach has been iffy to say the least. Stopped a more brisk walk short when I thought I was going to puke. Started taking some digestion supplements yesterday, but they say a week for full benefit.

Plan to get up early-ish for a strength video workout tomorrow, then continue to try short turns at the treadmill in the VFFs.

Oh well!

Wore my VFFs all day, which are truly getting to be comfy the longer I wear them. Did a workout video in them today, no worries. Didn’t get in any treadmill time, but did at least have a good handle on the two meals we ate today — so never really felt stuffed. Even managed a frozen banana instead of the girl scout cookie temptation tonight.

Staying up watching Olympics left plenty of time to get HUNGRY though, and boy am I still — my head is pounding, also, probably just for want of a snack.

If the 3 or so inches of snow we got are still on the ground tomorrow, we’ll probably be staying in and getting into watching the Olympics more! In essence, the next 16 days are going to be me babbling about cool athletes while I wish I was one — but isn’t that true for most of us. I’ve always found the games to be inspiring to watch, even though this one is starting off on such a dark note. Almost couldn’t believe NBC showed that footage of the luge athlete’s fatal wipe-out, again and again, but then I remembered — oh yeah, this is television.

Dear FutureMe,

Tomorrow should start the Winter Olympics. Here’s hoping that the motivation at working out and taking care of yourself that you felt while you watched the summer Olympics in Beijing wasn’t wasted. If it’s February, then it’s time for snowboarding, and it would really suck for the 3rd year in a row to just not be fit enough to do it.

Please, future me. I have faith in you. You don’t need bootcamps. You don’t need classes. You just need to get up and do things yourself.

Sending love,
Me

Interesting words of wisdom today from the me of 2008. Personally, I love FutureMe.org, and will likely use it again. Of course, nothing hits home how stuck you are in a rut until you hear the same spiel you’re still spouting and notice nothing’s really changed in a year and a half.

My Vibram Five Fingers

I may not need classes, but I am exploring Netflix for new workout videos for home — and am open to suggestion! PLUS I’m also wearing my Valentine’s present — VFF sprints. Nothing was so strange as trying to coax my little toes into their own separate toe pocket was today, but now that they’re on, they are really amazingly comfortable just to wear — in the midst of this hectic day at work, I considered just walking my toe-shoes away and never coming back, but I digress….  They do sort of feel like I left the climbing shoes on after leaving AtlantaRocks more than anything.

As I write this, it’s 3pm and I’m in “my-god-I-want-chocolate-now” mode, which means I’m probably just thirsty. I haven’t worked out, haven’t gotten up when my “get up” reminders went off. I’m generally stumbling around in pile of work crap trying to dig my way out, and thinking that if I can just get a handle on this, then I can relax… then I can run my errands… then we can go to Alabama for the weekend… then I can try out these VFFs on the treadmill or doing a step aerobics video. But I’m so caught up in feeling overwhelmed, I’m barely making progress. Sounds like most other aspects of my life these days, but now… with a post/vent about it all, perhaps it is purged and I can move forward today while there is still daylight to burn.

Neck and shoulder pain is still lingering, despite heat, stretching and continuing some light arm exercise. That means I skipped class again this morning, mostly for fear of making this worse with a day of “pushups on the basketballs.”

So today I looked up stretches to help with this pain, and started out my day with them, then we tackled the shopping chores for the day. In the afternoon I pulled out that Kathy Smith step dvd again — flashback 90s! — and found myself with a high heartrate at the checkpoint again. My legs are feeling the workout, but I’m clearly still lacking on the cardio. Really need to just get back on the Ct5K. Yup. Get right on that.

Last week was slack, this week is looking slack, and boy is skipping breakfast getting to me come dinnertime. Scarfed down dinner, and immediately was struck by how much I just ate — brain meet portion size. Sorry, I’m so bad with names. Maybe I’ll remember next time. =\

Tossed in another 40 minutes just walking on the treadmill mostly out of guilt over those portions.

Then gave in to a cup of hot tea and two cookies.

Yeah, progress? Wow, not so much.

What is my hold-up here? My shoulder pain? Am I waiting on those VFFs to arrive, because it’s not like I’ll be jogging in those the day after they arrive or else I’ll have even more pain as an excuse to not be doing much.

And then… Valentines Day will mark two weeks into this, and essentially two weeks of me examining my slack in all it’s glory. Sure hard to feel sexy or loved when you’re just disgusted with yourself for being weak. Brings me back to what I’ve said before about getting caught up with “blame” issues.  Am I feeling unmotivated because I’m feeling unsexy and unloved, and thus I eat for comfort… or is that just another excuse in my head? Is all I need for somebody to act like they’re happy with me and my “effort” here to actually cause me to put forth more effort? Is that an annoying circle of logic that is easy to get caught up in, say, instead of being productive toward any goal?

Yes, yes it is. And I sure fell right back into it, but here’s me being conscious of that. So, that being said… am I going to get up and go to class tomorrow? No. No I’m not. I’m not going to be stupid and possibly cause further injury to this shoulder. What I CAN do is learn to control the food portion of this project even when I’m not making strides in the workout portion. It is possible to lose weight with just diet — or so I understand, so I’ve got to get my head around that.

Isn’t the beginning supposed to be the hardest part of this journey? No worries. We’re learning here.