20 Nov
2002

Ugh.. this places reeks of turkey gravy…

I think it’s time to depart… gracefully exit… perhaps even run for the hills…

I did my part, I mean.. the gravy is here… so folks can heat it up and enjoy it with the other strange looking things that are all over the breakroom. I am feeling… blech. Mostly just headachey… I think I need more coffee, but the breakroom is dry.

Oh man. Just keep repeating to myself… three more days to vacation. Three more days. Three more days.

19 Nov
2002

Well surprise, it’s a crazy day here…

Yeah, this is our slow season. This is the off season. This is the season where we can breathe and catch up from everything being so busy up until now. The real-estate market is really dead in November thru January.

Blah blah blah and other bullshit.

I believe Skittles already ranted about customer service’s schedule today. I heard Silky in the breakroom ranting about getting angry voicemails from customers she hadn’t even gotten off the phone long enough to report their problems already calling back.

I know I started the day well. Angry voice mail of my own from a customer at about 10:30 complaining that I was supposed to call her at 10am. Find out shortly after that Jonathan had made an appointment on my behalf and neglected to tell me. You’d better believe he called the customer to tell her that fact before I talked to her, too.

I finally got some crap online and sent to the North Carolina whiners. They’ll hate it, but I don’t care. Spent too long this morning trying to pretend to work out a code issue that was really just a cache issue for the customer, but they are a whiny customer and thus we couldn’t just tell them that. Of course, the account manager takes whiny as truth, so they wouldn’t believe me it was a cache issue either, so I tinkered and pulled up pages of code and typed things and Hmmmed and Hawwed for a while until he finally went away and told the customer it had to be a cache issue.

Him: remind me to tell you about the dream i had this weekend
Me: so tell me
Him: I want to tell you in person. It’s about sex so you’ll like it
Me: if it’s about you and some poor unfortunate asian chick you rescued, i’d just as soon you keep it to yourself today
Him: nope nope. no asian chicks. it’s funny, too.
Me: why didn’t you just tell me at lunch?
Him: i didn’t think it was appropriate with Ruks in the car. it’s not about her either, btw.
Me: so just tell me already if it’s so funny
Him: the thing is, it was funny, but i think there’s been too much build up now
Me: okay so don’t tell me. i’d rather you tell me something nice anyway and i dont think a funny dream about sex sounds too nice
Him: i dont know. when you take a step back, there’s not anything much funnier than two people engaged in coitus
Me: i think you’re doing something wrong. wait, you’re not doing anything, I forgot. it’s good you can laugh at what you don’t understand.

So tomorrow is our “pre-thanksgiving potluck.” I think I’m signing up to bring gravy. It’s not on the list, and I’ll be damned if I can think of anything easier. Can. Pot. Gravy.

Him: Do you think we’ll be expected to bring stuff tomorrow? The men I mean?
Ruks: So what if you’re men? You can make something.
Me: Now, Ruks, you know men who still live with their mama can’t make anything other than poptarts
Him: Fine, I’m going out to lunch

19 Nov
2002

648

she came to and her
whole life was how she remembered it
she had a mouth full of fur
and she was laughing
she parked her hearse across
three spaces posted motorcycles only
and jumped out shouting
what the cuss could make a nice girl like us
feel so lonely?

are you weary as water
in a faucet left dripping
with an incessant sadness
like a sad record skipping
and an ugly and ornery
and shadowy dread
lurking like a troll under the bridge
between your heart and your head

please dumb blind kind sir
lend little miss listless a little bit of christmas
she’s been a real good girl
but now she’s stuck here
the world is so little and still
mysterious and ominous as ever before
like an unmarked bottle full of pills
on the shelf right next to the thing
you were reaching for

swing the groove ’round here
where i can reach it
when i get my ass back on track
i’m gonna need it
swing shift til i get the money
to buy me and my baby a moon full of honey
then i’m gonna turn the nagging voices
that follow me to bed
and fills my head with
you suck..

19 Nov
2002

Tuesdaze, since I slept thru Mondaze

I think I feel better. I went thru the night w/o Nyquil, though I can’t say I slept. What a long night.

I’m wondering if I’m really getting this vacation time. The announcement went out that no one ELSE would be given time off over Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years than had already put in, and I had way already put in. Put now it seems that there is a big lame meeting for the redesign of Lanier Speedway scheduled for next Tuesday… supposedly the Tuesday I will be gone.

Today I am zombified because my brain keeps telling me that I only slept about two hours, but I don’t really feel tired. I feel detached. I feel like I’m searching for a reason to open my eyes from day to day.

17 Nov
2002

Sunday night breakdown.

My insanity is always there. Most days I just keep a lid on it.

Why does it feel so late? Sundaze are too short. Weekendz are too short.

Friday was cheese, cheesy presents, good times, fun, and special guest posse, Wanda. It was cool to see her again, as she is always interesting. Afterwards we took in some Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with Jason meeting us there. Had some nice conversation with him while the girlz were in line for drinks. He had a look like he wanted to hang out more afterwards so he could rant and rave about how much the director ruined the Harry Potter movies… but well, I don’t think I could have managed much more of an evening for the coughing I had going on. Came home, barely spoke to the working man before work, then crashed out cold, thanks to Nyquil. I could have slept all day Saturday… felt like I needed it, but I glanced at the clock, saw it was going on 1, and rushed to get dressed.

Well, then I guess Saturday was sort of productive… nice lunch, then headed off to Guitar Center and finally broke down and dropped the dough on some new sheet music. $94 for six books. Stupid stuff. Cheesy stuff. Stuff I want to learn, but will probably never play in front of people. John Lennon, Sarah McLachlan, Eagles, Elton John, Alicia Keys, and Steely Dan. Don’t say it.. ghei ghei ghei. I know.

Saturday night was Skittles shindig. Her apartment looked amazing, the spread was delicious.. I hope she liked the little gifts.. Got to meet a lot of the crew she talks about. hope they weren’t too bored with me. Tried to converse some, but like I told George .. “Talking makes me cough. Of course, not talking makes me cough. Of course, I guess it’s the cold that really makes me cough.” He laughed. Shortly after midnight I realized I couldn’t hold back the coughing fits much longer, so I headed out. Barely made it out to the car before I was hacking up a lung all the way home. At least I remembered how to get to I-85 from downtown, so I swung right on by JamesT at work (aka me waving at the Bellsouth building), made it home quick, then tried to say howdy to let him know I’d just passed him.

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Sunday, ick.. tried to get up, sit down in front of the PC and think about work, but really couldn’t manage it. Love clearing out the spam folders… read some of it and am still trying to consider how to work it into my novel. I do know there are certain fetishes that will never be worked into my bedroom play. Though I generally hate to disappoint, I can say with certainty that at no point will I understand or indulge in any “Mommie’s Little Diapered Baby Girl” or “Panties and Pads” porn. I think it has done something to me just to know that such things exist AS porn, let alone to think anyone would be interested in them. Would you want to meet the folks who this stuff turns on? Think they’re the guys who like to watch dogs licks girls or girls suck animals? Think you would know one of those people when you saw them on the street?

I don’t. I think they look just like you and me, but somewhere in there some whacked out sexual deviancy has occurred that has taken that person beyond someone who will ever have a real healthy sexual relationship. Yeah, so after discovering these new deviant porn interests, I did a lot of reading about porn addictions and sex addictions, and was very disappointed to discover that the only “self help” books out there relating to those topics seem to be from the Christian point of view. Of course, though, only a Christian would think there was something wrong with a partner who got turned on by little girls and goats. That bothers me. I don’t want to read a self help book about why God says that sort of sex is wrong, I want a psychological rational explanation that I can relate to about why this happens and what to do about it, without bringing God into the picture.

Okay, I’m ranting a little bit. I flipped through too many book titles.. “How porn ruins families”… “living with sexual addition” … “daddy’s secret war”… and I just got sick of it. Perhaps the non-Christians just don’t have any good reason why sexual perversions are perverted. Is that true? I mean.. If you’re not a Christian living by God’s laws does that mean you might as well be totally amoral? I want the happy medium ground, thanks. And I want some support from other happy medium dwellers.

Grrr. I’m wasting time. I need a shower just to wash off all this gross I feel at the thought of all this crap. I want to write a novel about a Utopia where the porn industry does not exist because sex is not evil or naughty, and people can control their damn selves and don’t feel the need to bombard themselves with new images of young unspoilt flesh with their first maxi pads in their first white panties just to get aroused, and they certainly NEVER feel the need to have their privacy so they can indulge in all these perversions because they wouldn’t be doing anything anyone might find offensive. In this Utopia you wouldn’t look at a person on the street and wonder what sick fantasy he just got off to twenty minutes before you met him and he shook your hand. The thought of all that sickness just disturbs me.. makes me not want to trust anybody. It’s just not healthy and I just can’t deal with it. It makes me want to dedicate myself to hunting down the freaks who originate this crap and send it out to unsolicited people just because they have an email address.

It almost makes me want to be a bible thumper.

Almost.

I guess a bible would work good as anything to bash the purveyor of such disturbing filth’s head in.

17 Nov
2002

645

The porn king, hands down. Bestiality, too, don’t forget. This guy needs help.

The most unusual…

Mommie’s Little Diapered Baby Girl – (Teenage girls that wear diapers and act like a baby.)
The Pad Group – (young girls showing their wearing maxi pads on only wearing panties whatever top)

And well.. the usual…

Young Submissive Girls
Free Teen Amateur Girls
Real Panty Lines
Panty Peeks
Teen Bras, Panties, Socks
Upskirts Girls and Ladies
Panty Hose Fetish

16 Nov
2002

Harry Potter…

I can’t believe with all the jokes we always crack about ruining the endings of movies by saying that they all died in the end as a result of a nuclear explosion, that this movie would have to end like it did…


Firey deaths. Nuclear explosions. This is just me mock-ruining the ending of Harry Potter for Skittles. Do not be concerned, and please, no one else ask me to explain.

15 Nov
2002

America’s Least Wanted..

Sometimes, when I have a lot of tedious work to be done.. fixing code bits, and having to go to live sites to test whether the changes worked, it is fun (for me) to pick out some of my favorite agent sites to visit. Favorite, meaning.. their chosen agent photos make me laugh.

These just needed to be preserved for posterity…

The plan…

Lunch.. errands.
Cheese!!!
8:30 pm – Harry Potter (have pre-ordered tickets for 4 counting Stacy and Maggie’s)
2 hours and 40 minutes later… go home, pass out, die.

14 Nov
2002

…. whatever

—– Original Message —–
From: Bobby Shepard
To: All Employees
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 3:02 PM
Subject: Re: Visitors

this means that all mice and ants must be bathed and well-groomed

—– Original Message —–
From: Paul Hatcher
To: All Employees
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 2:55 PM
Subject: Visitors

We have visitors from FNIS coming into the office next Thursday and Friday. Please have your areas clean and dress business casual.

Thanks,
Paul Hatcher

14 Nov
2002

my bad mood…

—– Original Message —–
From: Kim Johnson
To: Paul Hatcher
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 1:30 PM
Subject: Re: Hours for last week

Thanks, Paul. I knew that. I was hoping someone would catch the sarcasm.

Everyone replied to ME alone (who already only sends to Darlene) telling me to send to Darlene only, instead of anybody replying to ALL (including those folks who send to all) about sending to Darlene only.

I think it’s just like Billy said. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and decided to be grumpy.

—– Original Message —–
From: Paul Hatcher (and about 8 other concerned folks)
To: Kim Johnson
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 12:47 PM
Subject: Re: Hours for last week

Just to Darlene.

—– Original Message —–
From: Kim Johnson
To: all
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 10:48 AM
Subject: Re: Hours for last week

Is it a must that our weekly hours be reported to ALL @ comstock? Or should these JUST go to Darlene?

—– Original Message —–
From: Mac McLemore
To: David Camp ; Darlene Lewis ; all
Sent: Wednesday, November 13, 2002 11:49 PM
Subject: Re: Hours for last week

11/2/02-11/8/02 is 56 hours. I always report Saturday through Friday.

Mac McLemore
Regional Sales Executive

—– Original Message —–
From: David Camp
To: Darlene Lewis ; all
Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 4:44 PM
Subject: RE: Hours for last week

84

—–Original Message—–
From: Darlene Lewis
Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 8:47 AM
To: all
Subject: Hours for last week

Please send me your hours for last week.

tkx

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