14 Apr
2002

164

You can’t afford to spend any more time worrying about getting hurt, Scorpio. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to trust someone — so, why not now?

Yeah, yeah. I trust no one. Especially myself.

Whoa… airline prices flip-flopping…
Cancun, Mexico $296.00
Honolulu, HI $1058.60
Las Vegas, NV $190.00

These from my Yahoo “best fares” widget. Vegas dropped a $100 or so, and Honolulu is up by like $300. FrEaKy … some travel season of which I am unawares?

JJ wants to plan a trip to Rhode Island this fall for NecronomiCon 2002. It’s in August near Lovecraft’s birthday.. $100 for the weekend, not including travel and hotel stay…. seems like an expensive little “impulse” trip to me. He says when I asked the price, “Us wealthy folks no longer concern ourselves with the cost of things, we simply do as we wish.”

Oh well… waiting up for Herculoids… the “new” typical Saturday night. Guess I’ll spend the time researching food items for the next two weeks of diet. Or maybe some nice online boyfriend will indulge me in some conversation…

14 Apr
2002

Whenever you see food beautifully arranged on a plate, you know someone’s fingers have been all over it. — Julia Child

Thanks to JJ for dinner at Ryans. Man that hit the spot. That’s about the bulk of how Saturday was spent… get up, exercise, get pissy, decide I was pissy cuz I was sleepy, nap, shower, insane movie, nap, Ryans, Trading Spaces, David Blaine street magic, MadTv, and now… here we are. You’re all caught up.

Been miserable watery-eyed girl all day. Need to add allergy medicine to the grocery list tomorrow. Fuck Clarinex, it’s too expensive. I think Kitty is still the problem… she has crawled all over me today, with the tendency to crawl right up my chest and put her nose on my nose. Silly kitty.

Oh, left Southpark out of the list of “my eventful day”… guess because it was forgettable.

Well, JT is getting ready for work. We barely spoke 3 words today. He’s sore throat boy, I’m allergy queen.. what a hot couple we make. Dreamt this afternoon that we’d had a fight and I moved home to mom’s… just left everything, screw work, screw everything. Problem with my dreams is always that after I leave.. I dream he’s surrounded by hot chicks knocking down the door to get a piece of him, and I’m stuck living with mom working at the deli of the Piggly Wiggly, smuggling out lunch meat to take home.

Ugh.. another hot, happening Saturday night. Aren’t you jealous?

13 Apr
2002

I’d say “kill me now” but I think that phrase is overused by me lately…

Just sitting around thinking about all the WORK I have to finish over the weekend. I sure have at least one set of customers REALLY pissed off at me for setting their freebie site as low priority. Came home today to an email and then a MSN message from Marc asking why I haven’t called them back, because he just got a nasty voicemail from them telling him what a slacker I am. I told him the truth.. that I haven’t called them back because I don’t have anything to say to them other than “Don’t get your panties in a wad, it’s a fucking freebie site. I have work to do for paying customers” then I added, don’t worry, she emailed me and I already replied. I could almost see his face grow pale from across the miles… “what did you say to her?” he asked finally… I already told you, I replied. Then added, or rather, I cc’d you, check your mail. I was polite, but assured her that I was not a slacker, and even told her that despite the long hours for the last two weeks, I was already planning to work through this weekend to finish her site, not that she’d appreciate any of that….. well, I said everything but the last part, but a double-writing major is usually pretty good at implying without openly offending.

Anyway… 6-flags. I already whined about this on James’ post but I simply have to say again… man, taking out the Viper blows goats.

Oh well… plans for the weekend…. work, plan the diet meals for the restart of Induction phase with Maggie, watch Dvds and NOT spend money, exercise until I fall over, watch the Herculoids at 4am tomorrow… and sleep … a lot.

Okay.. so much for actual plans… how about… steal a car, rob a casino, then hide out in a seedy New York orgy club for a few days. That sounds like way more fun.

Hit on something tonight in conversation that has made me wonder…. I’ve been so blah lately, miserable without really knowing why, and I’m starting to think it’s my shitty sleep. I keep having nights where I seem to blink then wake up and hours have passed… not remembering any dreams or even feeling like I’ve slept lately. If I didn’t know I’d been working out, I’d even attribute all this soreness to the alien probes that were used on me while I was abducted in my sleep.

Blah… I’m just fucking off because I don’t want to go to bed. Depo today means headache when I go try to sleep… that’s what always happens, so the longer I put it off, the better off I’ll be… right? probalby not. I can already feel it coming on…. *ugh*

blah blah… the recap.. doctor’s visits suck *cursed scales*, diet pepsi blows.. literally, trying to work while engineering group plays “bouncy balls” indoors due to rain sucks, not being able to really say what you mean to customers sucks, Bullshit Bingo king Bill Sutton being fired today in mid-conference ROCKED!!&^(#&%^%^!@!!! Um… my wonderful, craved it & had to make it meatloaf rocked, until poor just-woke-up-James tried to make it breakfast and it took out it’s evil revenge upon him, screaming in little meatloaf-stomach-pangs I AM NOT FROSTED RICE KRISPIES! THOU SHALT NOT MAKE ME BREAKFAST! I SHALL BRING DOWN MY VENGANCE UPON YOU WITH FERVOR AND WRATH.. and stuff…

Ugh.. I think I might be insane. So, if you read in the papers tomorrow that theres a 98 Porsche 911 Carrera S missing from our neighbor’s garage…. and you can’t find me around, just don’t tell the police about the NYC orgy.

Night.

12 Apr
2002

okay..

Karma may be restored. Stopped at the grocery — spending cash advance money, again — but decided to wait no longer. Got mom a sweet card ( 99 cents) and got $20 cash back. Came home, addressed it, stamped it, signed it, dropped the $20 in, and now just have to walk it to the mail box. I know it’s only $20, but it makes me feel a little better. Figure whatever funk I’m in will take my own effort to get out of, so might as well start small, so long as I start at all.

12 Apr
2002

note to self…

If you go to the trouble to borrow money for lunch, remember to pull it out of your pepsi covered pants pocket and put it in the pocket of your new pants… OR else just put it in your damn wallet. Thank goodness for my change hoarding skills and wendy’s cheapass menu.

12 Apr
2002

IS it Friday? IS it really? Not some weird universal April Fool’s joke…

It had better damn well be Friday. If the universe is fucking with me.. then I quit. Quit everything. Period. The rest of my life will be lived out between the sheets of that big comfy bed.

Fate has already had it’s fun with me… yes I swiped another of the sweet Magdalena’s diet pepsi’s, and the guilt was already fucking with me, so did the universe really have to make it explode on me in the car… EVEN though I had already opened and drank from it in the house?

Fine, Fate, I can play your game. I can go back in the house, change pants, find a towel to sit on, and deal with being late for the doc. Why, btw, when you are late for your appointment by a few minutes does the doctor’s office make you WAIT extra long to get in? Is it their little punishment for you?

Oh well… what a mood. This sucks. Depo day=three day headache day, but I’m already bummed beyond belief. It’s not interpersonal stuff.. I’m really happy with James and friends and things… it’s just me stuff. Despite the nice compliment from Jim this morning, I’m still feeling like a huge lard-ass. I’m completely unable to stick to my diet, and the way this thing works.. LITTLE infractions make the whole thing a waste. I’m finding myself so distracted by this diet all day and how fat and ugly I feel, that I can barely concentrate on anything else. It’s a total girl thing, right? Girls do this.. stress over dumb things. Stress over having $7 in the bank.. stress over the thought of $100+ prescriptions for allergy medicine that they dont want to fill… stress over the 4th MONTH in the same pair of contacts.. stress about mom being poor… stress about never having sent sweet 16 birthday presents and how lame the Ala gang must think I am.

Ugh.. declined a very sweet invitation to go to happy hour later. Just feeling the need to be a hermit. More so, feeling the need to get on the treadmill and run until I fall over and die.

Jeeeez, the work I have piled up that needs finishing. I like work… it makes the time pass. It makes the weeks pass. It makes the fact that I’m spiraling toward old age and retirement with barely a penny to my name and no money being saved seem okay, because I’m just too busy to worry about all that.

PS. new car scratch, courtesy my own keys, dropped out of my hand while i try to fix my passenger side wiper blade in the pouring rain this morning.

Anyway.. enough of life’s little bullshit recorded and out of my system. Time to get on with things.

11 Apr
2002

foiled!

So much for taking a vacation day as an opportunity to sleep in… cursed Dekalb County water wanting to do maintenance on the water main TODAY!?!? Great.. had to get up before 10 to shower… no water here all day. Good thing we’re going out.

Again, I say.. CURSE!

11 Apr
2002

monkey meat and other philosophical discussions

So…. first, JT may be the coolest person on the planet. Just when I thought salad tongs and cool hamburger-flipping gadgets were nifty, JT buys me the NIN live DVD in DTS. =) You rock, JT. Oh, by the way, I now have to refer to you as “JT” officially at work because there are already too many people named James there, and people are getting confused. This was decided for me at lunch. Anyway, I figured JT was better than Capt. Kirk, though I kinda like that one.

Anyway… six flags… rock on. *fist in the air in the Adam salute*

Well, talked to mom, who confirmed that my sis is a silly ass. Mom is telling her about my job being stressful of late, and her reply is “Well, welcome to the real world, sis.” Thanks for the concern, sis. I’m sorry you’ve been working 12 hour days for the last 20 years without complaint. I’d hardly call that the real world… I call that not having a life. Maybe if I worked for myself, like she does, I’d be willing to do that without complaint. I do not, however, work for myself, I work for compensation from an employer who oft times doesn’t even notice the long hours, or worse yet, expects the long hours without the thought of compensation for them. THAT is simply against the law, and by all means I will damn well be stressed by it and complain as I see fit without expecting a “welcome to the real world” from smartass sis. Anyway, I’m sure it was just meant as something clever to say to mom. I don’t think the Alabama gang has much of a clue of what’s going on in my life anyway, even though, strange as it seems, next to mom and Angela, they’re the bulk of what I call close family. Boy am I a bad relative. Someday I’m gonna be needy and I’ll have detached myself so much from them that I won’t have a soul to call on for help. Oh well, that’s just the way life goes.

NOTE to self, and I think I’ve made this one before, SEND MOM MONEY… skip lunch, don’t buy that cute skirt on impulse, you really dont need another pair of clunky black shoes today, wait until that movie comes out on dvd, and SEND MOM THE MONEY. Remember how it breaks your heart to hear her talk about being broke. Remember, and do it.

Anyway… so, the new plan. After much kitchen-konversation about all that wonderful mind-expanding stuff that just seems so interesting in the wee late-night hours, I think the plan is for “the gang” to try some writing exercises, like starting a story and passing it around for others to add on to it. To me this sounds intriguing, yet somewhere in the back of my mind horrifying, because although I all ever USED to want to do was write, I fear that so much time has passed that I’m going to end up looking and feeling foolish trying it. But, I just keep telling myself, these people don’t care if I look foolish, so who cares. I guess I’m mostly afraid of disappointing myself.

No work tomorrow! Wahoo! Vacation! OH! I almost forgot the OTHER reason JT rocks…. he whiled away the time I was chatting up mom by updating all the drivers on my newly pieced together PC, which puts it on the verge of game-ready. Go Capt. Kirk!

10 Apr
2002

w00t

Is it just Wednesday? MAN this week is flying by… finally got the gang together for luncheon sushi-fest. Ru-San’s buffet was excellent. Very much worth the $8.15 each that Comstock had to pay for it. =) Interesting going to sushi lunch with JasonR, who’s wife is Japanese. He tells me it’s hard for them to find places to go eat Japanese, because typically, if there are a lot of Japanese people there, then the food is authentic, but for the same reason, they tend to get frowned on as a couple by those same people, making it uncomfortable (for his wife at least) to eat there. He says that most Japanese men are very condescending toward Japanese women, and dislike eating in restaurants with them. Just a weird thing…

Work is trekking along at a fair pace. Plied the poor-depressed-Billy with the nice gift of Dungeon Siege today. I’m sure that doesn’t solve his work stress problems, but at least he has something to look forward to going home for. Although, he tells me he is loving some new area of Dark Age of Camelot that he’s been playing in…. which I found strange that I hadn’t heard of before, living in the house of former addicts. I reluctantly say former addicts meaning formerly addicted to Dark Age and have now both gone on to other games, such as UO, Counterstrike, and Dungeon Siege. Although, since it doesn’t have a monthly fee to play, I am thinking I, too, may soon become a Dungeon Siege addict. Just need to get both PCs rocking, so I can hook the Magster up, too.

Slowly but surely the Magster (who I am sure will LOVE being referred to as “the Magster”) seems to be migrating from house #1 to house #2, and bringing with her the coolest of kitchen utensils. =) I tease her that she is just an evil little person who is going to taunt us with nifty gadgets then move out and take them all away! “Where does she get all those wonderful toys?”

Anyway.. did I mention W00H00 I am OFF tomorrow!?!? Don’t ask how I swung that one.. complain enough about working long hours and then they’ll just agree to let you off with practically no notice. 6-flags spring break week, here we come!

Oh.. and on another note.. ow. Today, as I predicted, I am SORE as heck from lifting weights Monday. Ow. Ow. Pushing open the damn bathroom door at work is painful, damned heavy door. Oh well.. I’ll get over it. First time is always the worst, right? Right? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

9 Apr
2002

155

“Optimism” is the keyword for today, dear Scorpio. A new and interesting colleague, probably a woman, could join you at the workplace today. Today you feel very positive about your work and the people you work with. At some point you might find yourself the center of attention, perhaps leading a discussion, speaking to a group or proposing a new project. Onward and upward!

Uh- huh. More likely, I’m actually working from home and going straight to a lame-ass meeting over by the house at 3pm with the lovely Lloyd. The only positive feeling about my work today is at 1pm, I’m positive I’m finally done with this stupid Advantage 1 page for Michigan. This was no fun.

And.. I’m positive that I’m not waking up James to get the phone when Sam calls if he’s still asleep. Man.. i want to crawl back in bed. Too bad I have to get ready for this stupid meeting. =\

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