16 Jan
2002

how do I keep this job?

This schedule sucks. I can’t sleep at night, try as I might. Maybe spurts of a couple hours at a time, but when something wakes me up, it just takes forever to go back to sleep. Things like boyfriends coming to bed after staying up late playing games, no matter how sweet and wonder he is for an hour or so, I still feel like my sleep gets screwed the most. Then there are annoying little things like Kitty in heat, who already likes to walk all over you all night. She has to stay in the bedroom, because otherwise she and big kitty will fight all night. So, when she’s in heat, she’s either doing the usual walk all over you, sleep on your neck, or she’s pacing the room whining for some satisfaction. Neither very conducive to sound sleep.

So yet another morning has been spent with an emailed excuse to work along with a few more hours of sleeping in. That’s really not good. Like I said before, I really do accomplish everything I get assigned to do, but I just have to think that sometimes people just wonder where I am. I really like these people and pretty much this job. I just wish I could get things in order at home so that I could go in and make the most of it.

*sigh* oh well. I can always use the excuse this week that I need to work from home to accommodate all the packing that’s to be done. And worst of all, I am mostly dreading the little time I am going in for today… employee luncheon, and the opportunity to tell this guy I work with that I think his wife screwed us over on our apartment. He’s so nice.. this sucks. Mostly, the rent is gonna suck, but the apartment kicks total ass.

Anyway.. c’est la vie. Time for work. (well, 3 1/2 hours past time)

15 Jan
2002

amen.

Well, I’ll make this comment short and sweet. Grumpy. I know I’m no Victoria’s Secret model, but still.. only by dark of night at 3am on days I’m supposed to be up at 7 gets to be literally tiring. But again.. there are better ways to spend afternoons or evenings off, per him.. witness him on Dark Age right now. BUT I’m supposed to be packing anyway.

15 Jan
2002

furniture rant

Okay.. it’s been what.. an hour? time for a rant.

#1, it’s obvious I spend way too much time per day chatting. Somehow, I manage to get all my work done to everyone’s satisfaction.. I just wonder how much more productive I’d be otherwise.

Anyway… the rant. Why won’t guys spend money on furniture? The place we’re moving has the space for us to have a breakfast room and a dining room.. yet between myself and my two roomies, we don’t own anything but TV trays. I USED to have a table, pre-move in with the current BF, but didn’t have space for it. Now the space is back.. $150 could get a cute dinette, and the big bucks making BF doesn’t think it’s worth it. He’d be perfectly content with a huge empty living room.. which it will be since we’ve got a den in this place, and that’s where everything is going. TV, couch, chairs… desks… So, now, people will walk in and see.. big empty kitchen, empty dining room, empty living room, and stairs up and down… and nobody seems to care but me.

I spend time online picking out cool stuff.. dinette, coffee table, bookshelf.. crazy stuff, huh? and send him links and he doesn’t even reply. When I get into the “not replying” I may just go off no another whole rant, but maybe not right now.

Well, looks like the already pretty broke girl will be spending her own spare dough on such silly things as furniture rather than silly things like playstation games, posters, infrared dead bolt locks for the front door, car wax that costs $100, $50 dvds to calibrate the home theater…. girls just have different priorities I guess. Wonder if somehow I can keep the guys from USING the furniture if they don’t want to pay for it…

we’ll see.

15 Jan
2002

yay!

First things first.. Thanks GirlBlah for the invite! Now I finally get to try out this thing. Just have to note here how I turned down an offer to watch gay porn with the girls for the evening just so I can pack things for the move.

But anyway.. Day one, entry one.. I have a million things at work that I should be doing, but instead.. type type type, I’m doing this. Well, just wanted to say hello and get started. That should be enough for now.

l8r

2 Jan
2002

Updated bio…

'Crazy Wisdom' Hawaiian Petroglyph. Doesn't he look happy? Perhaps he's crazy... perhaps he's right. Who knows. has been working with the web since 1996. She hasn’t written any books on the subject, but she has read a lot. A whole lot. The publishers of web-related books frequently send her thank you cards for the money she has dropped on their products. She is currently employed as the sole graphics person of the Atlanta-based implementation team for real estate related websites built by a California-based company called FNF, formerly called FNIS, who bought the former Atlanta-based company known as Com-stock Net Services where she originally worked–now there is a mouthful. Her bosses, of which there are now many, are remote, in California, and are known only as slight variations of voices over a conference call line and perhaps better known by their various cell-phone rings that go off during said conference calls, which happen first thing in the morning their time, but begin at what should be the lunch hour and drag through the afternoon her time, which is eastern time, which is because she is still located in the fabulous southern city of Atlanta, Georgia, which is a much nicer city than you might have been led to believe.

is a graduate of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with bachelors degrees in Mass Communication and English: Writing. My English teacher once told me that two positives don’t make a negative. Two words for her: Yeah, right. Since nearly the day she left the ivory towers of UTC she has been taking classes and reading about computers and web publishing and design, and considering at the time of this writing, she can say that she read an entire textbook on CSS only yesterday, she sure feels like she is still in school. Her goal is to become a web publishing standards and compliance Guru, redesign the w3c’s website, and get a gig touring the world lecturing about how things ought to be done… related to web publishing, mostly, but probably with some colorful anecdotes about how to deal with remote management included. Her daily activities include stressing secretly over work that needs to be accomplished, stressing publicly over unreasonable goals and deadlines and moronic management decisions, relieving stress by random web and journal browsing and most likely ranting in her own journal or reading in the bathtub or working out to the soothing pep-talk of Leslie Sansone in some walking video.

When not otherwise busy, she can be found bothering her husband, , in some fashion. He graduated high school the same year she graduated college, how’s that for fun? Funnier that she knows exactly how many years over the typical four-year stint that she was in college, and thus the gap widens. Frequently hilarity ensues. Despite the age difference, the similarities and interests abound between then, and they probably would have been great friends, even if she wasn’t just so darned hot for him. Probably the truest test of love is her tolerance of his satanic little cat.

is easily annoyed by random IMs or even unexpected IMs from people she knows and loves and just didn’t have the psychic ability to realize that she had already decided she was biting the head off the next person who interrupted what she was doing. However, she seems to have amazing self-control of her temper, and thus usually ends up chatting somewhat, if abruptly, and all is well. She thinks she’s still on speaking terms with most people who had IM’d her, especially those of , who generally give her lots of leeway with her grumpiness.

Last but not least, if you want to know what she looks like, look at the pictures. She takes and posts tons of them, and if you’d like to read the prior drivel that was her profile, try this. Her favorite color is black, and she has a habit for reading (previously discussed) which you can support here. She also has an outrageous Target HomeStuff wishlist she keeps here.

Care to make a comment about this bio? Try here.

Our Dream Wedding: Las Vegas, July 8, 2003

More wedding snapshots… Not the good pictures.

1 Jan
2002

For the profile…


Non standard profile information…..
You asked for it… so let’s see…

I live plagued with the sense that the whole world just exists inside my head. I know better, but it’s a nagging reoccurring thought. As such, I’ve spent far too much time rewriting the world, namely my life, inside my head… used to lead to story ideas, but that’s a practice I seem to have given up a while ago. Still love to devour books and movies for entertainment and more ideas for things, that seem to only end up as dreams now, never actually down on paper.

My most… interesting? quality…. I’m easily amused. =) (read–signs on common stores written in unusal languages. fascinated by the “Mahalo” on the McD’s trash cans in hawaii) I only get bored with tedium, and can just about always occupy myself or be entertained by the simplest, stupidest things and truly enjoy it. I love to listen to people talk, or just people watch… strangers I see get instant fleshed-out lives in my mind which dissapear soon after they’ve walked out of site. Maybe I’m just staying in practice, saving all this stuff up until I get the courage to put it all down on paper again someday.

Meanwhile… I live this life.. in pursuit of fitness goals that actually seem reachable, with a renewed sense of how to take care of myself and make the most of my life, with a deep sense of happiness from the people I’ve let into my life, actually thinking about the evil-M word and being happy about it… I work trying to pursue some vague creative path that is mostly forced, but I seem to pull it off enough to keep a job. I spend most days feeling like a faker, who’s outsmarted my employer into thinking I know what I’m doing.

I’m discovering a love for music that just keeps expanding… it’s making me want to pursue playing piano again, but that’s just another thing I learned that there really wasn’t any talent to. I’m discovering also that I can measure a large portion of my life by the video games and roleplaying game worlds I was playing… again, I guess these were mostly creative outlets. I’m almost sad that I can’t make myself sit down to play anything anymore without feeling like by doing so, i’ll be back in the old rut
and 30 years from now will only be able to remember the years by video games again…. that’s not how I want to remember things.

All this time has passed in my life and I still retain a love for collecting little things that make me laugh…. like stuffed animals, even if my compulsion to buy teddy bears has become more restrained, it’s still around.

Still feel that viceral reaction almost like love when I see the lovely lines of an old corvette, and merely losing my train of thought for a moment at the site of most new ones. Also finding my want for a convertable, which I decided not to buy, has turned into a desire for a motorcycle, which I often dream I already have.


At times, I realize with such clarity that this all isn’t my little world, and I feel tiny and vulnerable. Sometimes I realize how much of my heart I’ve given to another and how his every whim or mood is like a tide that tugs at me.. his every action giving me reaction, and how 10 minutes of his attention and our laughter makes me feel more alive than anything else I’ve experienced. His love is better than chocolate, Sarah.

So this is me, self-centered, quirky, flipping between being a babbler and pretending to be invisible in a room full of people, seeking creative outlets, trying to make ends meet while living with my chest wide open and my heart exposed. Moody girly concerns mixed with a bit of a decidely male apathetic quality about things. Constanting seeking attention while trying not to be noticed. Never able to totally quiet the mind from it’s runnings on… always thinking the worse, moreover imagining how the worse plays out in minute detail. Terrible concentration skills, and a horribly
rambling and vague writing style that makes me wonder if anybody (except me over and over) ever manages to read it.

Old things I’ve written are still available at www.flerly.com (oldsite link), and any new “interesting” nuggets of wisdom will probably only ever appear here, in livejournal. If you manage to read it… enjoy.

The faces of flerly…

AKA… my icon gallery..



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