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Now available in soylent orange, soylent black, soylent blue, soylent red, soylent pink, soylent yellow, soylent brown, soylent pink and soylent aqua.

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 at 9:59 am by flerly.

Close, but no cigar.

How close can you get without going over? By the skin of my teeth. What a close call…

Anyway.. to continue my superfluous metaphor…Atlanta is truly the cigar superstore. Everywhere you look travelling in this town it seems they are waiting stealthily to burn those who rush past too fast. Never could stand the smell of cigars. Yesterday, it was the SUV with the Florida license plate (that I was considering passing on the right), that got burned.

Yeah… perhaps that used some intentional vagueness, too. What is it with language? It’s too easy to be intentionally vague. All that talk about cigars above, yeah, just to clarify, I was really talking about pigs.

Speaking of pigs, and things that come in the shape of pigs (weren’t we?)… I came across an interesting sign last evening. It is typical to see a pig shaped sign (perhaps outlined in neon) at your local barbecue restaurant, but after just missing Soylent Green on television the other day, and after a humorous discussion about a SNL skit having to do with sequels to SG, the sign I saw was most striking. It said: People eat People’s Meat in large letters (written, of course, inside the porcine outline). In smaller print, below the outline, it read: People’s Meat Packing Company…. if not but for the existence of an apostrophe and ‘s’….

Can’t help but wonder how many movies I–and you–know the ending of, without having seen them…the “shocker” of Soylent Green is practically a part of our cultural heritage, and yet, I’ve never seen the whole thing. Likewise, few people don’t know the secrets of (the original) Planet of the Apes and The Crying Game.

Spoilers ahead! Highlight to read.
Rosebud was his sled.

Soylent Green is people.

Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.

Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze.

Anywho.. It’s a weird mood today, this “superfluous metaphor” mood. Who knows what could end up post here with that going on. I really just wanted to record how happy I am that cops seem to enjoy tagging those out-of-state tag speeders more than the locals. Jeez! Who put this calendar here! Oh, I guess that was me… but damn, payday isn’t until a week from Thursday. Who thought of this awful twice a month system. Just retarded, I tell you. We should kill’em all. But I was saying about retarded people, yeah.. that girl that ran the register at Media Play yesterday. She saw I was buying a Laurell K. Hamilton book and flipped out. She went on for three minutes about how they had released the title of her next book already, but there was no release date, and how lucky I was that I still had this book to read before then, because she had read everything and was just dying for something new by her…

I like Laurell K. Hamilton. She writes about women who are petite, gorgeous, enjoy sex, are hardened and jaded, and can kick most things ass with one hand behind their back and wearing heals. Oh, and there are usually vampires, werecreatures, fey, etc. It’s all good. I picked up one of her other books the other day at home and started to re-read it, before I decided to just drop the dough on the new one. Before I put it down, though, I got to the coolest part. As soon as I read it, I wanted to go type it into my journal for you all to read, but.. um.. I was indisposed at the time, and by the time I got out of the bath, i had forgotten. It was something along the lines of how the fey consider it to be an insult if you see someone obviously dressed well or trying to look nice and you don’t comment, drool, lust after, or pay them some sort of due attention. It’s not so much flirting, as it is appreciation for a job well done. To ignore their appearance is the greatest insult, the equivalent of telling them they have failed at their attempt.

My, how that girl can ramble on. Well, fine then. I’ll shut up for now. I scared my shadow away for now, so I’ve had time to type and read LJ unwatched, but he could be back any minute. I’d better get to doing some actual work-type-stuff. I’ll just leave you with this:

“So, for a tasty treat that’s good to eat, try Soylent Green. Now in Vanilla Nut flavor. Soylent Green is people. Soylent Green. Made from the best stuff on Earth… People.”
— Bill McNeal, “NewsRadio”


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