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It’s all the same, only the names will change. Everyday it seems we’re wasting away.

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 12:49 pm by flerly.

Since I made it to work alive, despite hydroplaning across nearly two full lanes of traffic, despite going a meager 45 mph on the freeway, and despite nearly having to turn around, go home, and change undies, I decided to write down a few things.

If I had three wishes… First, I’d wish for a young, healthy, athletic body that I could feel comfortable and confident in… I guess thinking Anna Kournikova. Second, I’d wish for musical talent, both vocally and the ability to play instruments well, and write original music and lyrics.. I used to wish I was Sophie B. Hawkins. The third one is tough. I think… cure for cancer. Then I think, fountain of youth and health. Then I think, who really wants to live this life forever, and I wish that reincarnation was a beautiful certainty.

My biggest fears… For years it was watching my parents die, but I guess I’ve sort of faced that one. Now, I think I’m most afraid that one day James will “wake up” and decide seven years older is too much, and no matter how many other ways we may be perfect for each other, the one thing that will drive him away will be the one thing out of my control– my age. Maybe that’s just my biggest paranoia. My actual biggest fear-factor fear that drains the color from my face is flying, buzzing insects… namely bees, but any fast little buzzing thing will send me shivers.

The biggest lie I ever told… Probably the one I feel the worst about is telling my friends and family that Keith O. had asked me as a freshman to the senior prom. He didn’t. He’d just wanted to sleep with me. I knew mom and dad wouldn’t say yes to me going to the prom, so I used that as an excuse why I didn’t see him anymore. In fact, he blew me off totally when he had what he wanted. I never felt so stupid.

The most dumbass thing I did that turned out well… Getting drunk off my ass, making out in public with a strange man so he’ll continue to buy myself and male co-workers drinks, then insisting the nice co-worker who volunteered to drive me home stay the night… insist as in, grab his belt to hold him there and end up breaking it in two, nearly ripping his pants off, ie. making myself look like a total desperate slut. Thankfully finding out he likes desperate sluts who can score free drinks and moving in with him. =) (luv u honey)

Things I’m most thankful for… My special relationship with my mom. The way Dad and I used to be able to say one silly thing and mean something else entirely more meaningful. Having a friend-niece like Angela that can fall back into sync finishing each others thoughts after only a short time together again. Having a bf like James that tells me he feels we were meant to be together for reasons that don’t have to be put into words. Having a best friend that you feel compelled to introduce as family because you care about each other more than any two former strangers are supposed to be able to. Having so many meager, yet creative outlets, so I don’t ever totally feel like my job/life is stale. Having crazy new friends like Kit and Mag who continue to surprise me every day, and don’t complain too much when I vent.

And finally, in the goofiest possible ending, I’m thankful for wonderful 80s music and Atlanta’s new 80s station, where I can listen to Bon Jovi – Dead or Alive while my heart is still pounding from fun-with-water-on-the-road and find myself singing along and being thankful that I’m still here.



  1. viciouslysweet has made a Comment

    You do not want to be Anna Kournikova! Have you seen her teethe? She has the worst set of teethe I ever seen. It looks like they are running in different direction. You could drive a mack truck between her gaps! You would think Miss Bleach Bottle U.K. could afford a set of braces with all her endorsement deals.

    We share the same biggest fear. =( One day I mentioned that to J.T., he said “Why do you fear something that you know is going to happen. Make peace with it before it does”.
    Blah men. Too pragmatic and not emo enough. The fact that it *is* going to happen does not help you make peace with it. If anything, it scares you because you know can’t stop it.

    March 26, 2002 @ 2:21 pm

  2. flerly has made a Comment

    Um… first thought: James’ reply to the AnnaK Teeth comment…. “She’s got teeth? I never noticed.”

    And I didn’t mean I want to BE her.. I just want that fit body, and her hair’s good, too.

    And, as far as watching my parents die, I don’t think there is any making peace with it. Dad had cancer, wasted away before our eyes in a short 3 months. Now that was no time to prepare, dealing with it was the worse thing I can think of experiencing. If anything, I found myself becoming simply more detached. I could barely show emotion in front of the rest of my family, because I didn’t want to seem childish, so I came across as uncaring, I think. Again, I’m thankful that Dad and I knew each other well enough that we didn’t have to worry about public displays. At one point, my mom told me to go home (5 hours away) because me being there was making Dad nervous… that he thought if KIM is taking time off work to stay up there, then it MUST be serious.

    I’m babbling. Anyway… bottomline, how you deal is entirely about who you are. I think the best thing you can do is to make a life for yourself, be independent, and try to give your parents a sense that you will be alright without them while never actually acting like you’ll be alright without them.

    March 26, 2002 @ 2:32 pm

  3. flerly has made a Comment

    Well… her teeth aren’t terrible. And I really don’t think people even see the teeth until maybe after they’ve been in her company for over 3 hours.

    March 26, 2002 @ 6:14 pm

  4. viciouslysweet has made a Comment

    That picture is so doctored! Watch the Enrique Iglesias video – Exscape. Through out the whole video she is either just standing there, or swapping spit with Enrique, but in one scene she opens her mouth. Watch that scene, then shrink back in horror as you get a good look at those teethe. It’s quite sad really.

    March 26, 2002 @ 10:43 pm

  5. infinite1der has made a Comment

    From dictionary.com:

    tooth Pronunciation Key (tth)
    n. pl. teeth (tth)

    One of a set of hard, bonelike structures rooted in sockets in the jaws of vertebrates, typically composed of a core of soft pulp surrounded by a layer of hard dentin that is coated with cementum or enamel at the crown and used for biting or chewing food or as a means of attack or defense.

    Once can be counted as a typo, twice… I don’t think so… You’re in college, right?

    Moving right along…. You just wish you had teeth like her’s. =D

    March 27, 2002 @ 5:43 am

  6. flerly has made a Comment

    Thank you Grammarman, you’ve saved the day!

    And um… FREAK!

    And um…I’ve never seen that video with her in it, have you? I think I might be allergic to Enrique Iglesias anyway.

    March 27, 2002 @ 6:00 am

  7. viciouslysweet has made a Comment

    I have a degree in Political Science not grammar. No one counts typos on the net. And, if I had teeth like hers I would never open my mouth to talk. Your just pissy because your little dream girl needs braces. It’s not my fault she needs an orthodontist. =P

    March 27, 2002 @ 6:08 am

  8. viciouslysweet has made a Comment

    He saves the day? You can’t be on his side! =) He’s being a dork!

    And no one can be allergic to Enrique! He is one the sexiest men alive. He is the the very definition of viciously sweet!!

    March 27, 2002 @ 6:12 am

  9. flerly has made a Comment

    Can I watch the video on Mute? I think JT might agree with that.

    March 27, 2002 @ 6:15 am

  10. viciouslysweet has made a Comment

    Why does he need to agree? It’s your home too. You should be able to turn it up as loud as you want to, while dancing around in your PJ’s, using a hair brush as a microphone.

    March 27, 2002 @ 6:19 am

  11. flerly has made a Comment

    No no.. didn’t mean needed permission. Hahahahehehehheheheheheheheh
    Meant i’m sure he’s allergic to Enrique’s VOICE too. And well, if Anna is in it.. he’ll watch it, so MUTE is simply the best way.

    Sorry wasn’t clear.

    March 27, 2002 @ 6:26 am

  12. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    i vote a big fat “NO” to the watching Enrique anytime, muted or no, for the following reason (sorry to you who likes Enrique):
    1)his whiney, shakey voice doesn’t do much for the machismo, or anything for me, for that matter.
    2)has he never heard of mole removal? ugh. that thing could seriously be cancerous. or maybe it is his little friend (ala vampire hunter d and kung pow).
    3)i’m all for men getting sweaty and dirty, but he takes the look to a whole different level, much in the vein of russell crowe *gag* and johnny depp *gag gag*.

    March 27, 2002 @ 9:02 am

  13. infinite1der has made a Comment

    Well.. if you can look past that THING growing on the side of Enrique, I’m SURE I can get past her teeth….

    I have a degree in Political Science not grammar.

    Aye, but as I remember from the Ga. Board of Reagents states that ALL graduates must take 4 blocks of English( 2 Comp and 2 Lit ), and I’m think that’s pretty much the standard across the US. Not to mention, I think I learned to spell the plural of tooth in or about the 3rd grade.


    March 27, 2002 @ 9:24 am

  14. flerly has made a Comment

    In case anybody wants to just see the Anna K parts of that video. There is a clip in the Audio/Video section on the right.

    March 28, 2002 @ 4:13 am

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