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Kick ass!

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Monday, October 20, 2003 at 9:32 pm by flerly.

Personal email response from the actor in the Batman fanfilm. He’ll be shooting a dvd out to me soon. Rock!

In other news… renewed my LJ account for another year. Climbed like a major puss and am now very tired and sore. Thinking of skulking off upstairs to a hot bubble bath and leaving my “fun with hair-dye” for another evening, where my fingers actually work.

Yeah. Good plan. Relaxation time.

Meanwhile.. a share from the Dilbert newsletter

One of the most popular machines at my gym is a bizarre-looking contraption designed to strengthen your gluteus maximus. It might seem like a frivolous California vanity thing to you, but it’s more practical than you think. For example, if your spouse hogs all the bed covers, just clench the sheet with your butt muscles and hold on. Your spouse will be grunting and tugging while you appear to be sleeping peacefully, never letting on that there’s a struggle going on below the surface.

Or suppose you were kidnapped and your hands and feet were tied, but you were smart enough to wear stretch pants. Your butt, properly trained, can be a fierce fighting machine. With a little practice you can learn to disarm a knife-wielding ASSailant.

A huge, muscular butt can also make you appear taller when you’re seated. That’s a big advantage at business meetings. No one will be the wiser until you stand up and butt-slap the overhead projector against the wall when you turn to leave.

I started using the butt machine myself, with the ultimate goal of making it easier to hold tools for home repairs. If you have only two hands, and you’re already holding a flashlight and a screwdriver, you need at least one more set of opposable cheeks to keep the pliers nearby. As a bonus, I figure it will discourage my neighbor from borrowing my tools.



  1. skjarl has made a Comment

    Why do you look so pasty in the picture used on this post?

    October 21, 2003 @ 2:58 pm

  2. flerly has made a Comment

    Because it was my photoshop-having perogative to remove all color except for the tones of my hair, lips, and the pink of the flowers.

    Oh, and I’m pasty.

    October 22, 2003 @ 4:11 am

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