love reading these… even year-plus later.
Dear Prudence,
I’ve been seeing this chap for about 18-months, it’s quite serious although we’re not talking marriage quite yet. Recently I was round his flat and I found these letters. I don’t know why but I started reading them.
They were from other girls and from what I read it’s obvious he’s been sleeping with them all the time he’s been with me. I’ve been thinking about things and I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. The more I remember things the more obvious it is he’s been cheating.
I want to confront him about it all but how can I when I’ve read private mail.
As far as I’m concerned the relationship is over, but I want to know what’s been going on. What on earth should I do Prudence?
Prudence Says:
Oh dear, it can’t have been very nice to find out your man has been unfaithful in such a way. It’s true, you shouldn’t really have been reading his letters, but that’s no longer the issue here. What’s important is the fact you believe he has been unfaithful.
Is it possible these letters were innocent, or is there no ambiguity in them at all? Either way you need to confront your boyfriend. It will be hard having to admit you read these letters but if he’s been cheating then you need to know. And, if he has then it may be time to end the relationship. Once a cheater always a cheater – sounds harsh but I’m afraid it’s true in most cases.
Also bad.. the sound of Kits laughter from the next room. The semi-tense conversation last night where James tells me he thought I would “shit bricks” and that his “day was ruined” when I found out about disc-golf. He admitted he didn’t tell me on purpose. Made me feel very bad, but why wouldn’t he tell me? He brought up the “He didn’t think I could handle it” issue.. which leads me to think he was arranging this meeting on a whole other level than it seemed to me. I’m still thinking that primarily they are just friendly.. sure they’re expressed sexual interest, but does the fact that he didn’t tell me on purpose mean he thought of the incident as a potential date that would lead to more? Or does he think I’m so jealous I can’t handle him having a female friend… or more specifically HER for a friend. It bothers something deep inside me that he felt the need to hide something that he wanted to do from me.
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