am i just bitchy today?
Okay. I feel like a total bitch this morning. Read a LJ post on my friends page and just got… offended? Does that happen to me? Well, yeah I guess it does. I’m not sure that it’s not a stupid reason to be offended, but I tend to go with my gut reaction on things, so I just wrote up a lengthy, hopefully rational, reply to her about why some things in her post offended me. (It’s just hard to use that word.)
Anyway… I really should get to work. Anybody who is truly bored enough to read this, maybe you can tell me if I am out of line. Since she’s restricted herself to friends only posts, you probably wont have a clue what I’m talking about and since I have the desire to hear from my friends whether I am being a total hypocrite, I’m posting the full text
*NAME OMITTED* wrote,
hellish
Today was my first day back to work after being out sick. Surprise Surprise everybody seemed to miss me. Hmmmmmmm….we’ll see how long it lasts. Everyone I work with is considerably older than me. It’s hard being the ‘baby’ on the block. I did duck out early to go the doctor. He made the astonishing diagnoses that I had had the flu. Amazing what modern medicine can do now a days.
After getting over myself, I decided to bring back the comments, and still make my journal friends. So, for all the 6 people reading this, hello! =)
I had seen this on other journals, and I decided to do it.
Your supposed to make a list of 10 things that people might not know about you. Feel free to do it also. =)
1. I’ve been told I give great head.
2. I like giving head. I’ve been known to swallow.
3. I can write with both my hands. Though I use mainly my right hand for writing, I drive with my left hand.
4. I read unusually fast. It is not unheard for me to read 4-5 paper-backs a day.
5. I am a complete trekkie. If I had the time and resources, I would do nothing but go to conventions, in a vulcan costume, stalking Jonathon Frakes(Commander Ryker).
6. I am a neat freak. I have made myself late for work on several occasions cleaning my apartment. I can’t stand to come back to a messy apartment.
7.I like writing letters. I’m the chick that you always get a Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s day card from.
8. On the other hand, you have to call me and remind to reply to emails. I hate replying to emails, my mind goes blank or something.
9. I sleep naked. Don’t ask me why, I just do.
10. I keep a diary.
Well, there you have it. Some not so interesting facts about me. Feel free to write your own top 10 list. =)
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MY REPLY….
WELL now..
I have to say I was VERY surprised to read this post, and it just inspired me to go on a nice little rant to you.
First, we’ve talked. I know you talk to James a great deal. I know you have a boyfriend whom you are loyal to and is loyal to you… probably you’re “in love” or whatever. I also understand that you are a nice, sweet, considerate, Christian girl. WHY then, I have to ask, do you feel the need to throw out sexually explicit facts about yourself to people they don’t concern at all. In fact, you tend to act surprised and offended when people suggest you might meet and act on some the sexual discussions you’ve had with them.
Now, there are people, of which I am admittedly one, who talk about sex a lot and may even post about it in a general way or tease others about it. I justify this by the fact that I don’t front to people. If I am talking explicitly, making claims, then it is geared to the people I intend to read it. THUS, I have a private setting on my journal that only James can read.
My problem with this post is that what happens now when people suggest to you that “whether or not you give great head” is up for debate, and “that’s just not a statement that you can make without offering any proof” or something along those lines. I imagine you will post with some reply about how your boyfriend would be happy to reach down any such person’s throat and rip out their spine for the suggestion. My point… if you don’t mean to imply that you would SHOW people how good your skillz are, then don’t mention it that way. If you know this is a private, personal thing that your boyfriend would be disappointed to find out you had posted on this limited, yet still public, forum, then don’t mention it.
And, as the admittedly jealous girlfriend that I am, let me just also say that with my boyfriend–as a young, healthy male, interested in sex–on your friends list, I really don’t appreciate having it implied that you and he discuss such things openly, especially in such a suggestive way as this post displayed.
Okay.. rant over, let me just say this. I have a female friend who only recently learned what was too far as far as sexually explicit conversation around friends. She liked sex, she liked to talk about sex, and well, all her male friends liked to hear her talk about it. I can’t say that many of her friends didn’t see it coming when she ended up drunk after a party with friends and one of her male friends decided to make her act on all her talk. She’d been sending out the wrong signals to people and didn’t realize it. She’s not slutty or easy or anything like that. She just thought that talking about sex got her lots of attention, without realizing what might be behind that attention.
SO, when you spend evenings (except Sunday, of course) on AOL chatting up all your online buddies about all your sexploits, don’t be surprised that these buddies think of you sexually, and expect followup from you sexually. If you ever meet in person, the pretense may be friendship, but never forget that it was the sexual conversation that kept them talking. 99% of the time, that’s what they are still thinking about even when you move on to pets, shopping, current events or whatever.
And let me just end this by saying, if you are embarrassed or feel it’s sacrilege to even talk about having sex on Sunday, do you really believe that God isn’t watching you the rest of the week? That he isn’t fully aware of what you think, how you flirt, how you fornicate with no intent of procreation with a man who is not your wedded husband? I would really like you to explain to me how you can be a Christian on Sundays, and a regular heathen like us during the rest of the week, and expect anyone to consider you a good Christian girl? For the record, I don’t mean to offend, I am just genuinely confused.
flerly has made a Comment
I apologize. It was meant to be taken in fun. Post deleted. Have a good day at work.
Well, the post is now deleted. So much for prompting discussion or getting questions answered.
Again.. I’m a bitch.
April 4, 2002 @ 8:14 am
schlemaggle has made a Comment
you are *so* not a bitch. don’t let anybody try to make you think otherwise.
it sounds like someone doesn’t know how to take any constructive criticism, or has a hard time practicing what she preaches, or has a hard time backing up her actions and/or what she believes in. i personally think it’s a little passive-aggressive and, well, stupid, to delete a post that someone finds mildly offensive (or is just raising questions brought on by the post) rather than discussing views and possibly coming away with a bit of knowledge one didn’t have prior to the exchange.
but that’s just me. what do i know? i’m just a dumb brunette.
April 4, 2002 @ 8:43 am
viciouslysweet has made a Comment
One of my reason for deleting the post was that K expressed that she was offended. I reasoned, perhaps incorrectly, that others who read my journal might be offended also. I was not trying to make kim feel like a bitch or anything. I’m the kind of person that tries to put myself in other people’s shoes, to see what they are feeling. I never intend for other people to feel bad (offended).
Truly, I felt the list was just 10 fun things. My intention was not to offend anyone. It is not like I was emotionally vested in that post or anything. I reasoned it was best to delete it.
I can take constructive criticism. She expressed her view points, and I in turn took that and thought deleting the post was the best action to take.
April 4, 2002 @ 10:14 am