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The following post is closed captioned* for the thinking impaired

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Friday, October 29, 2004 at 3:37 pm by flerly.

They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They’re coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa

[14:35] Flerly: hheheheh… can you play winamp there?
[14:35] Flerly: http://wavthis.com/T/TakeMeAway.zip
[14:51] Chemguru: that’s a little scary
[14:52] Flerly: yes, yes it is
[14:52] Flerly: i thought if you got a bit stressed, you might put that on repeat and walk away from your desk.
[14:52] Chemguru: heh

On top of an… interesting week… I get an email from Mom this morning titled “Just need to vent.” It prompts me to call her. She always screens with the answering machine, so when she realizes it is me and that I am calling about the vent, proceeds to pick up, skip “hello” and go straight to “I’m thinking of just shooting myself with my pistol and giving up, what do you think?”

On zero expectations… I decided a long time ago that a birthday was just a day, that I already had a pretty cushy life, and that the last thing I want to do is set up any outlandish expectations for how anyone is supposed to treat me on My Personal National Holiday. Despite that fact that, if it is possible, I have read entirely too much of the Sweet Potato Queens books — I have even taken to calling a certain someone who takes real good care of me The Cutest Boy in the World! — I really really really tried to rid myself of any expectations. Instead of leaving around the number of jewelers or other such hints (sorry SPQ) I picked and planned my own birthday events, so far in advance that it would not imply that I had to do it because I had been taken for granted or some such nonsense. These things went as planned, and so I guess you could say, my expectations were met perfectly, and thus I should be completely satisfied and happy.

But, of course, as always, life happens and other things creep in and try to mess up my good birthday vibe and somehow manage to cause me to feel “let down” even when I supposedly had no expectations. One, due to a sore-through/cough I had earlier in the month, I had to resched my dental crap for right before the b-day. Two, the cats conspired this month to try to kill each other and have my nerves on edge. Three, my mother, having dizzy spells, is kept at the doctor’s office until her doctor can get her blood pressure down. Four, I find out she supposedly stopped taking her medication because she can’t afford to buy it, and of course didn’t bother to tell anyone. Five, the doctors call to double her medication. Six, the doctors call to triple her medication (that’s today). Seven, JamesT’s great-grandmother is in the hospital with heart problems and most very probably won’t be leaving. Eight, a certain someone to whom I’m related, who according to mom hasn’t bothered to visit in well over a year and never calls unless he’s on duty when she sets off the alarm is begging her to give up her entire savings so he can close on a second home. And, Nine, mom doesn’t know how to handle those people from credit card companies who call and leave messages on her answering machine over nothing. Oh wait, and ten, Mom got a notice for Jury Duty.

So, since I only scheduled 2 birthday events (a fruity dinner and a fruity concert), and as the list indicated I’m 10 down for the month, I’m at a negative 8 for the October General Well-Being Scale. Thankfully, if I factor in getting the Best Birthday Card in the Universe EvarTM from the Cutest Boy in the World, as well as a damned fine caramel apple birthday dessert treat last night (when I could finally chew!), I guess I’m up a bit to about a negative 6. Woo hoo.

But anyway, my mental health aside, here is what I had to endure over the phone today:

“I had to tell him that I couldn’t loan him money today because they just tripled my medication and I’m not allowed to drive for 24-hours until they find out if its going to cause the dizziness again.”

“He didn’t even ask if I was doing all right.”

“Please don’t call them, just let me know what you think I should do.”

So, of course, since there is absolutely nothing I can do except listen to her vent…. I turn from a pumpkin back into a jackass and call my sister to “Share the Crazy”. For one, I don’t even have that brother’s phone number to call him directly, and I’m not sure what I’d say if I did. Are you insane? maybe. Yes, there’s not a lot of people we know that have a lump of money sitting in a savings account that you could ask, but Mom should be taken off the list since, well, it’s not really savings so much as it is her sole source of income. I can’t believe I encouraged it, but she was so torn up about how he begged for the money that she considered that she might get him a cash advance on a credit card for the money, so long as he’d pay the payments on it for the couple months he needs it, then pay it off when his deal closes. It will cost him more — yes. It could still be a huge blight on her financial situation, since she’d be responsible for paying it off — yes. Yet, somehow, the fact that she wouldn’t have to empty her savings account made her feel better about doing it. I never wished I had some money squirrelled away more. I think I’d give about anything to be the one he’d turn to instead of mom, anyday. Her blood-pressure can’t take it.

–>Insert 10 minutes of grumbling and cartoonish-ARGHs, foot-stomping, keyboard-drawer slamming, and other fruitless acts of tantrum here<-- Anywho... now I just need some coffee and I'll be relatively normal again, if, still, without normal relatives. This evening, this weekend, I have to become VERY VERY busy. There is simply some shit I must get done or I will seriously be fired on the spot. Not the best week for a total breakdown. In case she didn’t know it, I just had to remind my sister that she is the best sister in the whole world for allowing me to “Share the Crazy” when the need arises. She’s already handled a few things and talked to mom, and she wrote to let me know.

So, now, I just need to call mom back and make sure she’s cool, then, hopefully, I can relax and get some shit done. I think I may need to read that Best Birthday Card in the Universe EvarTM again, first.

*Closed Captioning Link


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