IS it Friday? IS it really? Not some weird universal April Fool’s joke…

It had better damn well be Friday. If the universe is fucking with me.. then I quit. Quit everything. Period. The rest of my life will be lived out between the sheets of that big comfy bed.

Fate has already had it’s fun with me… yes I swiped another of the sweet Magdalena’s diet pepsi’s, and the guilt was already fucking with me, so did the universe really have to make it explode on me in the car… EVEN though I had already opened and drank from it in the house?

Fine, Fate, I can play your game. I can go back in the house, change pants, find a towel to sit on, and deal with being late for the doc. Why, btw, when you are late for your appointment by a few minutes does the doctor’s office make you WAIT extra long to get in? Is it their little punishment for you?

Oh well… what a mood. This sucks. Depo day=three day headache day, but I’m already bummed beyond belief. It’s not interpersonal stuff.. I’m really happy with James and friends and things… it’s just me stuff. Despite the nice compliment from Jim this morning, I’m still feeling like a huge lard-ass. I’m completely unable to stick to my diet, and the way this thing works.. LITTLE infractions make the whole thing a waste. I’m finding myself so distracted by this diet all day and how fat and ugly I feel, that I can barely concentrate on anything else. It’s a total girl thing, right? Girls do this.. stress over dumb things. Stress over having $7 in the bank.. stress over the thought of $100+ prescriptions for allergy medicine that they dont want to fill… stress over the 4th MONTH in the same pair of contacts.. stress about mom being poor… stress about never having sent sweet 16 birthday presents and how lame the Ala gang must think I am.

Ugh.. declined a very sweet invitation to go to happy hour later. Just feeling the need to be a hermit. More so, feeling the need to get on the treadmill and run until I fall over and die.

Jeeeez, the work I have piled up that needs finishing. I like work… it makes the time pass. It makes the weeks pass. It makes the fact that I’m spiraling toward old age and retirement with barely a penny to my name and no money being saved seem okay, because I’m just too busy to worry about all that.

PS. new car scratch, courtesy my own keys, dropped out of my hand while i try to fix my passenger side wiper blade in the pouring rain this morning.

Anyway.. enough of life’s little bullshit recorded and out of my system. Time to get on with things.