The last babble…

I was about to give up on sitting hunched at this computer tonight when I glanced at the mess on my desk and remembered my early evening cussing, and thought I’d vent a bit:

Apparently, it will be easier for me to change every other piece of identification back to Johnson than get the social security office to call me Thornton. I started filling out forms and sending information to them January 2005. This is April 2006 (yes, I know you know that) and I have just gotten another “rejected, forms returned” letter.

Originally, back in Jan’05, I sent in my birth certificate and my marriage certificate, which their website says is all you need for a name change due to marriage. They rejected it, hand-writing on the returned form that they “Need current proof of name in use. Two forms of ID. Must show old name and new name.” That I thought I understood, afterall, the marriage did actually take place in 2003 and I waited a year and a half before changing my name anywhere. Perhaps they have some time limit to do that which isn’t indicated anyplace on their website.

So, they send me the new form to fill out and a paper with two lists of items which are acceptable to show them for a name change. One list includes “Marriage certificate” and “Court ordered name change”. The other list includes “Drivers license” and “Passport” (among other photo IDs). It says to provide ONE from each.

Not having a passport, or anything else on the list — photo library card? — and not wanting to mail my driver’s license, I began the first of two ventures to see them in person. Neither panned out. I wasted two whole days there–if you call getting kicked out at 3:30 after waiting since 9 a.m. whole days. Kicked out because my number is too far down the list to be handled by 5, according to their estimate. Come back tomorrow and try again with a new number. At least at the DMV they let you take your chances and wait until 5, in case other people gave up and left who were ahead of you. The website says, for your convenience, you can phone ahead to schedule an appointment time, so you don’t have to wait. Well, you can only do that, if you ever get through the queue.

Then, as it turned out, we decided to apply for passports anyway, so I put things on hold until I had a passport and then tried the “convenient” by mail method again. This time I sent passport, marriage certificate, AND birth certificate. Cover all my bases, right? AND a letter requesting that IF this didn’t satisfy them, could they schedule me an appointment, say any time at all at least 7 days after they plan to mail the letter back, and just let me know when to show up, explaining I had tried in person twice already and never get anyone by telephone to make an appointment.

Rejected again, letter ignored. This time there are pink highlighted portions on the form and the handwritten notes are highlighted, which I have to assume mean: “Look here!” and “This is what you’re doing wrong!”

Problem is… they highlight on the form “Court ordered name change paperwork” and “We do not accept photocopies.” Considering I’m sending a passport, rather than driver’s license, I have to assume they don’t think THAT is a photocopy. So, the problem has to be the “Marriage Certificate”, even though it is a water-marked, raised seal, tamper-proof message having, original document that clearly says “certified” all over it. I am simply at a loss.

And, this time they’ve also handwritten: “Need two forms of identification. Must show old name and new, birth date and social security number” along with the form and the paper with the same two lists of documents to choose from.

Well, NOTHING on those lists shows all that information in and of itself, let alone two things, so I already have to ASSume that they meant between the two documents I chose, I needed to show all that information. Already I’m concerned by that assumption, but the further problem is, even between two documents, what are they? Social security doesn’t accept your current social security card as proof of identification, it says that in all caps on the form. Passport doesn’t have the social. Driver’s license doesn’t have it. Birth certificate, marriage license? I have nothing else on either list. WTF?

Does this mean that I’m going to have to now start the process of getting a court ordered name change just to use my married name? They don’t accept the documentation that they say they will. The form you have to fill out already has a million personal questions, including even your parents social security numbers and dates of birth. Why the hell am I being rejected? Why don’t they accept the documents they say they will as proof?

If I wasn’t so paranoid, I’d think everyone was out to get me. I fear this entire hassle is simply because I waited until it was convenient for ME to go through this hassle on all my IDs and accounts. Any why shouldn’t I have? Where does it say that if you don’t take your married name immediately that you can’t ever take your married name? And even then, give me at least the newlywed grace period, huh? 2 years? It’s a lot of damn paperwork to pull off.