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*Le Sigh*

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:48 pm by flerly.

“Spokesman” for Big Customer: All our agents hate this default template. Change it.

I change it.

“Spokesman” for Big Customer: Good. Now let’s tweak the look of the other templates.

I tweak them.

“Spokesman” for Big Customer: Good. Now, upload this whole new company logo I created that’s off color and way off scale from the old logo so it looks really bad.

I upload it, trying to force it to a size that is legible and fits in it’s slot in the template without driving everything nuts.

“Spokesman” for Big Customer: Good. I’ll let you know if those will be our new company colors and the default navigation and things for the company site and default agent sites will need to be updated.

I wait with baited breath. (Actually, I go to Mexico to drink while I wait).

Development Department: Tee hee hee. Let’s do a massive product update and fuck with everything without telling anyone how it could affect them. Maybe rearrange all the default content, make parts ignore the stylesheet, hardcode some more stuff so it can’t be tweaked.

“Spokesman” for Big Customer: What the hell? All our stuff is broke? What did you do?

I explain that I did NOTHING since they last looked. It was development. I have an alibi… I wasn’t even in the country. Back off.

“Spokesman” for Big Customer: Oh, well they broke it good. I’ll get on them about it. Can you help fix some sites that look really bad now?

I start looking at some specific sites for agents sent to me by “Spokesman” to see if I can make them look better if not like they were due to development’s sweeping layout changes. I email each customer about the changes I am making to their site so they are informed.

Agents of Big Customer to “Spokesman”: Our sites are broken! They seem to be changing at random every day! First the default template is different, now every template we choose is different than we remember! There’s a big new logo that doesn’t look right. We never know what they’re going to look like! Fix them!

“Spokesman” of Big Customer: No worries. Development made some changes to the templates, but all the changes you’re seeing now are the result of that Web Gremlin Kim Thornton who is trying to fix things.

Me to Agents of Big Customer, cc: “Spokesman”: Changes made on the default template on blah blah date were done by me, on the authority of Spokesman. Further changes made on the other templates on blah blah date were also done by me, again on the authority of Spokesman. The company logo was changed everywhere on the site on blah blah date. Then development made an update which has caused some problems to the sites starting on this date. Only if your name or URL has been forwarded to me specifically to tweak a problem as a result of development have I been altering your site specifically, ala some kind of “web gremlin.”

Agents of Big Customer to “Spokesman”: Well, who are you to make sweeping changes to all our sites. This is our business you are messing with, and we should be notified of everything.

“Spokesman” of Big Customer: Put all the stuff back the way it was before the two phases of graphics changes were made, except the new logo, and next time let’s make sure I approve the designs before they go live.

Me to “Spokesman”: I’m pretty sure you did approve the designs before they went live. Next time let’s make sure you have the authority to approve things.

And the problem that still exists? All the sweeping layout changes affected by the recent development update. So, because they do an update that practically coincides with some sweeping template tweaks I made, I become the fall guy, or the “web gremlin” rather, that gets named to the customers so they know who to bitch to. The emails are coming in and I’m replying very plainly to each one to correct this, but I’m damned tired of it.

And the BIGGER problem that still exists? I was told “Spokesman” was going to be fired over a month ago and I’m still waiting.


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