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Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 at 9:45 pm by flerly.

Father’s Day approaches, which still is a time that can get me into a mood funk if I think about it too much. I’m almost relieved to be taking a double shift for work this Sunday so others can enjoy their fathers, although it does mean that JamesT gets to do a Chattavegas round of visits without me. I actually really do enjoy the Chattanooga visits, but maybe not so much this yearly one yet. Work will be distracting, much like going to see Unknown Hinson on June 30 will be distracting from the memories that date brings.

Have had a couple lengthy talks with mom this week, as she gets to enjoy my finding ways to kill time between appointments. She’s already in a bit of a mood. This June 30th Dad will be five years gone. She said to me on our last visit that she can’t really believe sometimes that it’s been five years, but couldn’t decide whether it felt like longer or shorter. I know how she feels, though it does seem bizarre to write it down.

I just have to acknowledge that in the back of my mind right now, during this month, are those thoughts of Dad that make me sad, instead of the usual joyous memories. Thus, I’m sure the brunt of my work angst, home angst and all general life frustrations just seem that much worse because it is the month it is.

In general I’m actually torn between being really pleased with work and completely pissed off. The weekly addition of one night shift and one weekend shift is a huge pain in the ass… not that it’s a hard duty, just that it ties me to a computer for hours, and means I can’t go outside or travel or do anything I might want on my “afterwork” time. It’s only a pain because we’re still M-F days, and now I’m T-W-T at customer’s sites, so it’s not even full work from home anymore.

BUT on the up side, these sessions at customer’s sites are going really well and are actually fun. Oh, there’s the odd difficult customer, but even those guys are walking away raving about what a good job we did. This is me enjoying NOT working stupid “shit is broke” tickets, and actually getting to talk to a customer, face to face, hear what they want done, and then exercise some creativity to make it happen for them. It’s like… oh dare I say… me doing my actual job description. And I didn’t know how much I missed doing it until they gave me a taste again.

So, essentially, just when I’m pissed off enough at the salary, the lack of health benefits, the insane expectations of hours, etc. etc. and I decide I’m just going to look elsewhere… they rope me in again. I was kicking around finding full-time employment elsewhere and just contracting with Lloyd to do the graphics items that dwindle in these days and forgo the tickets and extra duty shifts. He must have felt the vibrations in the wind with his weird “boss” voodoo ways….

Hrm… speaking of boss voodoo, we interrupt this post for a quick IM chat with another boss… who is now dangling the possibility of the company purchasing me a nice new laptop for use on my three-day a week travels. They’re already sending me business cards and a nice little AIX box so I can use the office phone system from home and have a voice mail box other than my home phone voicemail. Methinks they might be trying to keep me around… damn?

All in all, right now, the ass groove in this desk chair fits me pretty well, so I guess there’s that. Two days from home is still pretty sweet. Doing what I actually enjoy doing for a living again is pretty sweet. And, soon enough, the mutiny will end these night and weekend shifts… as witnessed by the nightmare of scheduling work on Father’s Day. Wait until July 4th, or I dunno… Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years?


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