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All this time leading up to the “first Sunday in May” family reunion with James, it hadn’t really occurred to me why I missed it last year, but today it hits me… Dad, hospital, illness, death. We’re coming up on the anniversary, and much like last year the “event” will be marked with 4th of July celebrations. Feeling anxious and sad at the same time just thinking of it. Was really hoping the visit to mom’s next weekend would be joyous and life affirming for her… got her some nice books, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s feeling this morbid anniversary creeping up as well.

Just really got this stuck in my mind on the way home from Chatt, and couldn’t manage to get the creative stuff flowing to finish up work tonight. Perhaps a nice hot bath and some sleep will let me get up early and make a fresh start. Hope work doesn’t kill –read fire– me for another 1/2 day at home.