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Weird Wacky Weekend Schtuff

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Monday, December 3, 2007 at 11:48 am by flerly.

So, Friday night is all right for fighting, too, it seems. Thanks for nothing, Elton.

No cell signal inside the pottery place meant we didn’t get the phone call from the Fatass niece, looking for advice on what to do as she rushed home to where her mother had lied to the cops in order to have them force my $brother1 to let her back into the house. She told the cops he had changed the locks on her while she was out for the day, rather than she had actually moved out on her own nearly a month ago and they are in the midst of a divorce. When the cops found out the truth, they were unhappy to say the least.

The news I eventually got when it was all over Friday night from Fatass niece was sporadic, but I got more detail Saturday talking to $brother1. Apparently, crazy-wife had called wanting to stop by and pick up some winter clothes she had neglected to take already, and found that $brother1, rather than being in the usual pitiful, whiny, pining-for-her, kicked-dog state, sounded good, healthy, happy, and had plans such that he couldn’t immediately accommodate her coming over. Apparently, her reaction to this was to call the cops, lie, and have them MAKE him let her in, late Friday night when she knew he would be home. He seems to think she staked out the house, waited to see his car come home (since he parks in a garage so you can’t just see whether it’s there), then called the police to meet her at the house, all distressed that her key wouldn’t work in the locks, “Quel Surprise!”

$Brother1 said once she was inside, the cops asked her if she would be all right, as they had another call to go on. $Brother1 said he asked them to stay and escort her back out, but at this point they were still believing her and told him she had the right to stay if she wanted. So, $Brother called his daughter to give her a heads up, and she began the mad rush home.

$Brother1 said crazy-wife was, well… acting crazy… tearing up the place while “looking for” the items she claimed she needed. By the time the daughter shows up, crazy-wife is red-faced, shouting, obviously angry and obviously trying to provoke $brother1 into physical violence. Fatass, who actually weighs less than a buck and is built like a twig, none-the-less plants herself right in there to stand up for her dad…

… And proceeds to start getting pushed around rather violently by her angry mother. Grabbed and pushed, multiple times, until she is eventually backed into her bedroom and takes a final dramatic push through her closet door, which breaks. $Brother1 manages to step back in and get crazy-wife away from her, leaving Fatass long enough to call 911. The 911 dispatcher is lucky enough to hear over the phone the screams and rantings of crazy-wife telling $Brother1 and Fatass what she thinks of them and the so-called-cops-who-are-on-the-way, tells Fatass not to hang up until the cops get there, and then Fatass hears the dispatcher talking to the cops who are en route, and warning them about the mental state of the woman and to expect physical violence.

Unlucky for crazy-wife, she gets the same two cops she lied to among the responders. Now, I’m not sure how this worked, but before the cops left the scene, they were able to arrange a restraining order to keep mom away from daughter until Dec 10th, when they all had to appear in court. This somehow preventing them from just taking her into custody then, but if she violated that… jail. Also, they informed $brother1 that in the state of Virginia, there is a law on the books that allows a judge to immediately dissolve a marriage if the separation situation includes violence toward a minor child, which would mean that she would have no legal right to re-enter the house, and it would get it into the system with the cops so she couldn’t fool anyone else to gain entry.

The next morning, $brother1 and Fatass went to the station to file assault and battery charges, which the cops said would make sure the restraining order stayed in place until the court date.

All in all… scary stuff as it was happening, but in the end, crazy-wife done fucked up. For months the attorneys and therapists have been telling $brother1 that the whole situation kept boiling down to his word versus hers as to the abuse in the house. There hadn’t been physical evidence before. In fact, I talked to $brother Saturday after he’d spoken to his attorney again, and she tells him she would bet that crazy-wife had every intention of making Friday’s situation into “official assault charges” against him, perhaps bruising herself up, and his calling the daughter home caused all that to backfire.

What have we learned here? There isn’t going to be any kind of simple, over-with divorce here. This crazy woman doesn’t take rejection lying down. And, now that it’s publicly escalated to this kind of violence, $brother1 warns my mom — who crazy-wife absolutely irrationally hates — to be wary of slashed tires, sugar in the gas, or worse …. since crazy-wife does have a gun. He and his daughter are on the alert, too, restraining order or no. Crazy-wife’s crazy-mother has already called begging $brother1 to send “the girl” away for the day so he and crazy-wife can sit down for a talk, because she also thinks all their marital problems are all because their daughter is “troubled.”

Well, if by “troubled” she means has a backbone, then she sure is. And, it seems like $brother1 is remembering he has one, too. Backbones all around… now let’s hope they don’t get shot in them.

Anyway, hopefully I can work out meeting up with them for dinner one of the nights I’ll be up there for work this week. No expense for a hotel room this time, as I’ll be staying at Mom’s. Of course, that means dial-up internet, but c’est la vie.

Otherwise, here in Atlanta, Friday night went well. Snake Bites at Everybody’s Pizza, with Ben & Maggie, then pointless pottery painting, then home where we were joined by the newbie motorcyclist, Skittles, for some rocking and rolling with the Rock Band.

For the rest of the weekend, JT and I got our tree up and 90% of our Christmas list checked off. Since he already got his Christmas present, including the few additional camera related items we picked up for him this weekend as well, he brought out some needed computer stuff he’d been squirrelling away to give me, so we could just do everything early. Well, everything we could do early. It will still be a week or two before our big cool-ass high-tech, cable-ready, dvd & mp3-playing monster treadmill gets here, but w00t, none-the-less. We took the time to put the packing boxes for all the recent shit we’ve already bought ourselves under the tree just to remind ourselves to knock-it-the-fuck-off for shopping for ourselves. Apparently 2007 has been our year of going massively in debt, with all the big ticket items we finally gave in on this year — including the house!

Next year, we enter our self-imposed and necessary fasting and staying home to enjoy the shit we already have rather than lust over anything new. We may have to cut ourselves from all forms of media for the year, but, well, we’ll deal with those in the New Years resolutions.

OH and, in case I forget to mention it again, Saturday night at 8 at Little River is our company Christmas shindig, where at about 9:30 Mac’s band will be performing. Former co-workers and friends of all types are invited to join us. You won’t get dinner on the boss, but you can come laugh with us.



  1. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    Have I mentioned that we’re thinking about crashing your holiday party? Yeah, it’s actually the same night as my company holiday party, the first one they’ve decided to spend money on in 6 years, but I don’t care. Your party sounds like more fun. 🙂

    December 3, 2007 @ 4:15 pm

  2. flerly has made a Comment

    “fun” is subjective, but this certainly won’t be a dressy, stuck-up gathering. We’re taking a table at a fairly red-neck bar for dinner which will likely come in a basket on wax paper, and then watching “Mac & the McLemores” (aka nice but useless sales guy, Mac McLemore’s band, Crossfyre in whatever incarnation they are currently in seeing as they rotate a couple singers and guitarists who have different styles) do covers of songs from various eras, which might possbily include their version of Margaritaville with it’s “lost verse.” =)

    Yes, I do think it will be fun. If you like beer and retarded people dancing to a cover band, come join us! =)

    December 3, 2007 @ 4:31 pm

  3. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    are you kidding me? that sounds amazing! buying a cocktail dress i’ll wear once (hopefully) or wearing one of the three in the closet that i can barely squeeze myself into sounds like torture to me right now. you know i like beer and people-watching. if you can get Mac to promise that Crossfyre will play Free Bird, i am sooooo there!

    December 3, 2007 @ 5:12 pm

  4. infinite1der has made a Comment

    I’d DEFINITELY take Freebird over Margaritaville no matter what ‘lost’ lyrics they’ve found…

    December 3, 2007 @ 5:25 pm

  5. flerly has made a Comment

    The more the merrier! Just tell any co-worker who asks that you’re the couple who got married on Halloween in Bermuda and they’ll know you!

    December 3, 2007 @ 5:29 pm

  6. muse0fire has made a Comment

    Holy crap.

    December 3, 2007 @ 11:13 pm

  7. flerly has made a Comment

    Does the fact that I rattle off this bizarre tale with little regard indicate how jaded I am to this whole situation with them? Everything having to do with $Brother1 is just… surreal. Like… I take it in, but I’m about 7 months behind on processing everything and recoiling in horror.

    December 4, 2007 @ 12:03 am

  8. muse0fire has made a Comment

    It SOUNDS totally surreal – like you’re watching your life but on some really strange episode of COPS. I can totally get how that would make you jaded and why it would take some to process. I mean how do you NOT just sit there going, “WTF???”

    December 4, 2007 @ 12:07 am

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