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Official Report:

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Saturday, June 8, 2002 at 11:31 am by flerly.

At approximately 9:30 a.m., two unidentified assailants entered Flerly’s bedroom while she slept. Probably at the sound of them turning around to “fire”, she was awakened at last, in time for them to aim their backsides and fire repeatedly, with both barrels, at the bed. During and after the blasts, there was much giggling, then the pair retreated with the comment “let’s let her go back to sleep”.

Perhaps not realizing or simply not caring what scarring psychological damage they had done with the vicious morning act, Flerly did go back to sleep, almost immediately, where she had dreams that she was being followed through her morning rituals by the same pair. They fetched towels and brought them into the shower, they put toothpaste on her toothbrush and she had to yank it from their hands to use it on herself, rather than have it jammed down her throat by them. Barely after giving up the toothbrush, one assailant grabbed the brush and hairdryer and began trying to bald her, while the other roughly attacked her feet and toes in a hideously rough attempt at a pedicure.

At first, Flerly awoke thinking the whole morning and incident had been all part of the terrible invasion of privacy dream…. but then she remembered the truth, and was scared.

[11:28] Flerly: so.. can you believe them this morning?
[11:29] Chemguru 1: no… did you retaliate?
[11:29] Flerly: um… no
[11:29] Flerly: wasn’t the appropriate time
[11:30] Chemguru 1: Hmm… aye… payback must be returned 10 fold…
[11:30] Flerly: they’ll get theirs, when they least expect it. Besides, I had hoped you would be my partner in crime
[11:30] Chemguru 1: Mais Oui!…



  1. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    [looks wearily in direction of ‘s desk]
    i’m scared.
    please, hold me.

    usually every saturday/sunday morning when he wakes up with some plan or another to wake you in a rude manner, i manage to dissuade him by saying things like, “but then she’ll get really mad at us and shave our heads in our sleep” or “but we can’t, because then she won’t be the Chinese Food faery anymore”. this morning, however, my excuse bucket was rather dry.

    i do apologize.
    what’s with csm and being mean to different people in their dreams?

    June 8, 2002 @ 7:01 am

  2. flerly has made a Comment

    I SEE…. EVERY weekend morning, huh?

    Very interesting…. very interesting indeed…

    Makes me think I could have some fun once he turns in notice and will be home and probably sleeping in M-F.


    June 8, 2002 @ 5:44 pm

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