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The FPAG FFFF Con Experience so far…

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Saturday, November 7, 2009 at 1:14 am by flerly.

The costumes include mullets and your favorite pyro shirt. By day you build shells and rockets and joke about “not giving blowjobs” everytime you have to reach down to pick up something or about how the Chinese would probably be assembling things faster. By night you party and drink by the various campfires and watch people try to fire what they’ve built — some of which look like basketballs and are packed full of the “shells” we usually shoot for the public — and marvel at the CATO rate. Our ears will be ringing for a week no doubt. It’s no wonder the public can’t come to these things…. This is where the pyro-heads go to have fun. It’s a scary, loud place, and if you’re not paying attention, you may just get a firecracker in your pocket. Or down your pants. Or up your shorts. Or… you get the idea. Pay attention.

Had a lot of fun today personally just taking pictures of everyone, the wacky packages of consumer product, and the crazy pyro shirts. Scary mustachioed old-lady from Texas was wearing a “Warning: Hot Flashes! Instant Ignite!” shirt. Will just have to post pics of the fireworks packages, because words cannot do them justice… lets just say, apparently sex sells everything, including consumer fireworks. Also found some “pops” labelled not for children. Never seen such things before, but hear they are fun to attach to car tires, bottoms of toilet seats, etc. etc. Spent rest of day checking under every toilet seat before I sat down.

Have to say, temps in the 70s by day and 40s by night sucks when you’re at an event that takes place on a remote farm in the middle of nowhere and you’re outside all day and night. Was an interesting day, though. Joyce made a rocket, and we watched tons of cool things being built – and helped where we could. Watched the competition this evening, then sat in the cars to warm up while we watched most of the open shoot. Tomorrow the boys have to be in class at 8AM to be shooter certified, then hopefully they find out if we get admitted to FPAG officially, learn the secret handshakes and all that. Then they get to go to another class to build a shell to fire that evening, and then dinner, awards and the “really big show” goes down … where they expect all 350 or so registered folks to attend.

Lastly, it’s not all over yet, but if ever I thought Pete and James were crazy with some pyro notion… this crowd makes them look safe, sound, sane, clean and sober. We’ve learned a lot this first time attending, so next year… IF next year… for us, should be more fun. Layers. Flashlights. Cooler. Camp chairs. Blankets! Firewood! The bus Pete is bidding on… etc. etc. etc.

Okay… past time to pass out. Just wanted to get all this down in case I get impaled by a falling stick from a rocket tomorrow.

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