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Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 10:16 am by flerly.

Okay, making a note of this because maybe if I write it down, I’ll quit thinking about it. Had the longest dream last night, seemed like all night, the very realistic kind, where everything is really solid, the sky is the right color, and there’s basically nothing standing out to give you that nagging “it’s just a dream” feeling. Started with a dullness of a realistic afternoon at work. Opportunity arose to go harass a co-worker and generally goof off in the pre-text of “consulting” him on a project… Somehow, it ends up to be after work, and the place is deserted, and we realize we’ve been talking and laughing the whole time.. and out of the blue he gives me a little quick kiss on the neck, like as I’m leaning over to type something on his keyboard. Then he says something about my having gone to Toe-Jam over the weekend, and points to my toe ring, visible in my sandals. I tell him, no I got it in hawaii last July and it’s never been off my toe since then. He tells me how cool that is and the next thing I know, we’re full on kissing, standing up, leaning over on his file cabinet, and it was so real-seeming, the feel of lips, hands in hair and on his neck, bodies pressed together. I remember somebody else was still there at work, and we had to duck down and be quiet while they went by the other side of the cubicle wall on the way out, then we laughed about it, and used it as a cue to calm down. So we started over talking, and decided to go get dinner.. which ended up with him following me all the way home so we could take one car. No one was home, but it was my home, the new one, with all the right people living there. Looking back, there were a couple wrong things that should have clued me in.. like for one, one of our freaky older neighbor ladies came by to visit and offered to cook us both dinner on her grill.. she even showed us the huge curving kielbasa she was gonna grill (very Austin Powers-ish, no stretch of logic what that image indicated). We declined, I bullied her to leave, and then he and I stood there a moment laughing at the phallic sausage, which led to more kissing on the stairs. In the course of this, he kicks a box with his foot, and we both stop and look at it. It is marked FRED really big, and he asks if that’s one of my roomie’s names. I tell him no, that with the two boys having such similar names (James/Jim) that we decided it would confuse the movers less if we marked all Jim’s stuff as FRED instead. Made perfect sense at the time. Since we were speaking of roomie’s, I realized that someone could be home at any moment, and I didn’t want to be kissing some guy on the stairs when they did… so we made our way on foot up to the “Business Center” where I had remembered the leasing agent telling us that there was a guest suite. We found it unlocked and proceeded to sully the room. I wont go into the explicit details of intercourse, but again let me say that it seemed so real, solid touch and smells, and all the little details… no skipping from scene to scene really. We even lay around after talking about why I’d let myself do this when I already had a boyfriend I loved, and I told him I was just interested in him for sex, that I never intended to hurt or leave my boyfriend. This was just impulsive, harmless, fun, and he got kind of upset over that, but we ended up all right. I mean, his head was spinning like mine at how fast all this happened and how intense it got and we were speculating on secluded places at work where we might meet for a quickie rendezvous sometime, all with the notion that it would never really happen again. And then I woke up.. about 35 minutes before the alarm was set to go off. This dream freaks me because it’s one of those things I imagine from sci-fi as if I was astrally out there projected really doing all these things, and I was going to find evidence that it had happened for real when I woke up. No evidence, though. Hell the guy in my dream I don’t even really flirt with. I do think he’s cute, but it’s mostly in one of those I imagine he’s young and innocent and not too experienced sort of ways… not too terribly interesting on a personal level other than that. Although, since I started striking up conversations with him, I have noticed he is dressing better.. less geeky t-shirts, more nice shiny dress-shirts, especially yesterday when he stopped me to let me know he was having to take an issue I sent him to somebody higher on the food chain to get an answer for me. I told him I’d just go ask them, but he insisted on being the go-between.. and I remember thinking he looked really good right then. That’s probably what sparked the dream.

Oh well. No evidence found. It was just a dream.

Hearing his voice just having a general conversation someplace else in cublicleland makes me realize that I decided to wear the outfit I had on in my dream last night… subconsciously?


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