One day down, 631 to go… and the world still turns.
It’s almost midnight, so clearly the sleep schedule is still wonky here, but I am happy to say that this morning I got up with the sunrise-alarm by 4:40 AM and went to workout. It was not so horrifically embarrassing as I’d imagined it might be, and I was really just sort of jazzed at myself that I was actually awake and doing it. Of course, stayed up too late, so as soon as I was cooled down all I wanted to do was crawl back in bed. It’s probably partially that it’s still cold and dark when I get done that doesn’t help. So, I changed back into PJs and crashed out hard. Don’t think I moved until I realized the shower was running and James was up — having never heard his alarm go off.
The not moving bit was reinforced when I tried to get up and found I could barely move my head and my left shoulder was stuck in some sort of raised-crampy position and didn’t want to move. Getting out of bed that second time today was rough, but as in most of my life, a growling stomach is an excellent motivator and it was doing it’s thing by then. Tried to warm-up a little, arm rotations, rolling my neck around, but the improvement was minimal. Two Tylenol and a big bowl of cereal eaten very slowly while I sat on the front stairs petting cats and saying bye to James helped get me back in gear enough to actually go check out the work situation for the day.
Thankfully, the urgent work items were few, though there are a few huge projects pending. No fires, thank goodness, as all my brain wanted to do for the next couple hours was go back to bed now that the rumbly tummy was cured. Could not succumb. Flipped on the television for the day, loud. Caught myself staring at nothing several times, then when my first “Move around!” alert hit, I made myself get up and sort of jog around, take the stairs a few times, get the blood pumping. That and a big glass of water helped for a while.
Managed to hold off the lunch urge until nearly 1 PM, and despite wild imaginings of what options were in the kitchen, managed to stay sane with just some tuna, veggies and some wheat crackers. Of course, made myself take the time to go walk and move around for at least 15 minutes before I made food, then didn’t take it back to the desk to eat it. I’m thinking desk eating is a lousy habit, so I’m opting for about anyplace else to sit with food. At the very least it causes me to have to get up again afterwards and move some more to get back to work.
Since we’re exercising indoors in the mornings, there really isn’t much of any running with this bootcamp — unless I start going to the Friday mornings at Stone Mountain, which is an option. But, before I get that crazy — outdoors at 5 AM, in the cold, and all about running the entire time — I thought maybe I’d pick up the old Couch-to-5K workouts again and just do them on the treadmill here in the evenings. They’re supposed to be 3 days a week, and I should be able to do that. If it works out, then I’m just a few weeks away from having decent stamina to at least jog for some distance, and THEN I’ll look at hooking up with the Stone Mountain class again.
Have to say, though, I was starving all freaking day. Just mentally thinking about what we had on hand, almost talking myself into a run to the store for better supplies so I couldn’t make a really bad choice if I gave in. Problem is, we don’t really have any bad choices right now… I guess except another full lunch-sized meal. So, I had a big glass of water, tried to focus some more, discovered my mind was still nuts for food — then allowed myself an apple and a string cheese. And by the time James made it home, I was never so glad to hear his lunch was small and he was ready for dinner early. So, I jump on dinner — not the healthiest, but not the worse and budget friendly — 1 1/4 lean ground turkey, hamburger helper, with skim milk. It made a bowl for each of us, and it says “serves 5”. It was disappointing, and I worked ever so hard to try to eat it slowly, but I knew before I’d taken the last bite that I wanted something else.
I could go on and on, but obviously day one of Project 40 has been a huge mental battle with food. I’m so far from starving myself, but the notion that I should be conscious of what and when I’m eating has been an irritating distraction to my entire day — making me practically useless for work, honestly. The soreness of beginning an exercise routine again, the mental battle, and this dreadful sleep schedule — yes, in just over 4 hours now I get to wake up and start it all again — are not making me feel hopeful. But, it’s day one… with 1 year, 266 days to go, to get over this CRAP, and I should be hopeful.
Be hopeful. I’ll put that on my to-do list for tomorrow.
Sniper Jess has made a Comment
I am hopeful…and hungry with you! =)
February 2, 2010 @ 11:55 am