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hurrah and stuff

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Saturday, February 2, 2002 at 1:31 am by flerly.

welp, got dsl.. party on.

just a note, dance dance revolution is very fun =) I am perfecting the white girl dance.

Came across this reading last night:
“We could be dreaming all the time, but we do not perceive those dreams while we are awake because the consciousness (like the sun obscuring stars during the day) is much too brilliant to allow the unconscious content so much definition.”

It made me think of daydreaming.. and even those even less defined “zone outs” I tend to do more and more often, where I’m mostly just not paying attention to things around me. It’s like all my senses get muffled and I don’t realize it, then somewhere on the periphery something seems out of place in my thoughts, and I realize it’s somebody talking to me, and THEN I realize that I had totally zoned out while I was following some stupid thought around in my head. It usually happens pretty quickly, so I don’t think I end up just staring out into space noticeably. In fact, I think this probably happens to most people.

Which reminds me of the old joke: “I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you.”

Anyway.. dreaming, day dreaming, weird dreams all the time, it’s not that unusual I guess. I recall that I started having repetitive or continuing dreams about the same people and places in about 6th grade that went on through high school. It was like this saga going on in my dreams, that I just figured meant I was writing a book in my head. When I got to college, I sat down and tried to write some of it… only to find out that I sucked as a writer. SO, I switched my major to study writing, which took years. Somehow during all that time when I was struggling for ideas for my poems and short stories I gradually stopped having those dreams, and consequently was never able to sit down and try to write that book again.

Anyway. that was a lot of babble, but my point is that I always have thought that something creative in me was trying to manifest itself in my dreams, because I always come away with such vivid images from them, if not the whole memory of it in excruciating detail. I’ve also been known to try out variations on solutions for problems I’m facing in my dreams, which I don’t think is that unusual. What I DO think, however, is that I’ve lived my whole life way too inside my own head. I guess that’s why it feels so good to get out and into something physical or tangible, just to enforce the notion that I’m real or something. It’s just hard to do that. It’s hard to take a dream and turn it into a story idea, or an idea for a role playing adventure, or an inspiration for a photoshop creation. But when the dreams keep coming night after night, pushing all these images into your head that stick with you in your waking hours, usually causing their share of zoneouts, while you struggle to remember some detail… well, sometimes the only way to end it is to TRY to make it physical somehow.

oh well.. blew that train of thought. the kitties wont quit fighting (the bitch is horny again) so I had to give the only one I could catch (the bitch) a cold shower. I got accused of being cruel for giving the cat a bath as punishment, but it doesn’t HURT her and it does work. She calms down. And hell, she is probably upstairs right now laying in my spot on the bed while she’s still all wet just to get me back in her little evil way.

just one more silly note on the subject of things that cause me to daydream… that www.adiamondisforever.com commercial =) That’s just wrong, isn’t it? Does that make me superficial? I asked a friend last week, is it wrong to want an engagement ring when you plan to elope, and she knew just what to say–she IS a girl after my own heart. She said hell yeah expect a ring, and a NICE one because you haven’t got to save any dough for a big wedding shin-dig. I don’t though.. expect a stupid expensive one, that is. It may be something I’ll keep forever, so it can be decent, but jeez I don’t want some rock somebody would cut off my hand to steal, and I just don’t travel in those big-diamond-girl kinda circles. it’s just another symbol, and right now I think I’d be content with a ring-pop if he offered it. =)

Another friend today told me I was insane, that after reading my journal that she decided that my mind just wasn’t right. Big surprise, eh? No, really, she said that she can’t believe how much I write about being unsure about getting married when she can tell how obviously nuts I am for this guy. I guess she doesn’t get it that my doubt isn’t about how nuts I am about him, its doubt about how nuts he is about me. its the uncertainty that’s caused simply by the fact that I’m not a mind reader… I cant just look inside his head and sort through how he feels once and for all. thus, it’s a doubt that can only be allayed with positive reinforcement from him. so long as he keeps up the sweet things he does, I’m all good. Once again, I surmise these feelings are actually pretty normal.


1. too much noise in the hallways to whisper sweet nothings to your TurtleDove…
2. just as you reach the peak of sexual passion, your Snookums rolls out of bed…
3. cold water on the stateroom floor takes the fun out of anything kinky…
4. the sirens and whistles make it hard to concentrate on love-making…
5. moaning and screaming all around you makes you feel sexually inadequate…
6. you paid for a stateroom on a lower deck, but the lifeboats are hanging just outside your cabin window…
7. no one will lend you a life preserver – the one thing you need to win the scavenger hunt!
8. you dressed for dinner, but your shipmates come to the dining room wearing pajamas, life jackets and nighties…
9. it’s time for your mambo lesson, but the band won’t stop playing “Rock of Ages”…
10. you need ice for drinks – your steward sends you up to the top deck with an ice pick…


1 Comment

  1. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    as i was leaving work yesterday, one of the HR girlies was talking to some other girl who spotted HR girlie’s wedding ring and started throwing a complete hissy fit. she grabbed her arm, drug her into the well-lit break room and started gushing. note the following dialouge:
    random girl: “oh my gawd, that is just TOO gorgeous!” she drools
    HR girlie: “i know” she’s smug
    RG: some unintelligible nonsense about carets and baggets and whatever–ringspeak i quite obviously do not understand
    HR girlie: “well, i am a lucky girl”
    RG: “yes, you are!”
    HR girlie: “and he’s a sweetie to top it off”

    this is where i walked in, got my lunch that i didn’t eat, and walked out the door. i safely waited to roll my eyes until my back was turned to them, and then i felt guilty, and it got me thinking. maybe expect was the wrong word, because that’s just bitchy, but you can definitely get a ring that most closely matches your adiamondisforever.com daydream, because seriously, you’re not spending all of that money on food you’ll never eat, flowers that you’re going to end up throwing at other people, music that you won’t get to dance to because everyone wants to talk to you, etc.

    i am logic. hear me roar. heh. or something.

    February 2, 2002 @ 3:07 am

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