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Fixer upper… any takers?

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Monday, July 29, 2002 at 8:11 pm by flerly.

I was bombarded with questions about whether Stacy and Billy hit it off Friday night, which I tried to answer tactfully, then checked email this evening and found this…

For the record… I never said Stacy’s type was “Ken doll”… that’s his reference.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Jason Churchill”
To: “Kim Johnson”
Sent: Monday, July 29, 2002 6:36 PM
Subject: by the way

by the way, regarding Billy not being a “Ken doll”

I saw a great movie once, where this lady used a dog training book to keep her husband and marriage happy. Perhaps this is the frame of mind from which Stacy could approach Billy.

Billy as tabula rasa, Stacy as the artist.

I think Stacy is really passing up a prime opportunity here. Billy is smart, well off, and Stacy could make a handsome devil out of him. I guess its just a pipe dream, but it would be nice to see Billy get married.


Just seemed interesting to me that “the alien” longs to be a matchmaker. I guess he really is a sweet guy. He liked Stacy, and well, liking Billy, obviously wants to put the two together. I didn’t want to be the one to tell him about Stacy’s “big news”… I still think it’s a good idea to get Billy out and go wardrobe shopping. He has more video game t-shirts than Janow.

Also for the record, JC informs me that his “stalking” attempts were more like “gawking” attempts, and that he did not try or want to try to mack on any of those girls, because, as he’s said before.. no relationship wanted at this time. He just likes to window shop.

He also said he’d like to go hang out with us all again. Just wanted to throw that one out there for opinions.



  1. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    I think Stacy is really passing up a prime opportunity here. Billy is smart, well off, and Stacy could make a handsome devil out of him. I guess its just a pipe dream, but it would be nice to see Billy get married.

    …because that’s *every* girl’s dream. find a real fixer-upper to “make a handsome devil out of”, settle down, and get god-damned-good-and-married. is this what it has come to? men being the ones to say, “yanno, i would really like to see this person get married” and women sitting back and snickering because marriage is, in essence, the devil?

    oh. right.
    maybe that’s just a me thing. :/

    July 29, 2002 @ 2:29 pm

  2. flerly has made a Comment

    It’s not just a you thing. I HOPE Jason just has a bad way of expressing that he’d like to see Billy find somebody… he’s been alone a long time with zero luck dating.

    But of course, I could be totally wrong and JC is just out to match-make everyone and secretly make lots of dough off the sale of wedding bouquets or some such.

    Ugh.. so it wasn’t just me that the whole thing was sort of a weird “guy” comment?

    July 29, 2002 @ 2:35 pm

  3. aoide has made a Comment

    Give me a freaking break!! Ok whatever. Jason makes it sound like Stacy should get what she can. That’s crap. Better grab him while the social misfit is available cause after that god only knows. I mean I like Billy, but Jason makes it sound like that’s the best and only Stacy can do. I don’t know, maybe I’m just tired, but what a fucking male chauvinist pig faced boob. I feel sorry for the girl who gets the JC fixer upper, cause apparently she has a lot of work in front of her. What an ass.

    Ok, I re-read JC’s email and I guess he isn’t exactly saying that’s the best Stacy can do, but hoping instead that she would “take one for the team”… I think that still makes him an ass though, but now I am annoyed at him for Billy’s sake. What an ass!!

    July 29, 2002 @ 5:39 pm

  4. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    that was a *very* weird “guy” comment. but this would further explain his inherent alien-ness.

    i think if he is seriously considering a career in match-making, he needs to take a course in “determining compatibility”. while i do think they are both wonderful people, billy and stacy just don’t…fit. case in point. friday was billy’s first concert *ever*. stacy was dumbfounded at this news, as was i, but, methinks a part of her was offended that someone could be 25 or 26 and never have liked any sort of music enough to warrant going to a single concert…

    but i digress. i think JC is a lunatic. or an alien mole.

    July 30, 2002 @ 3:18 am

  5. flerly has made a Comment

    Not sure when I signed up to defend JC, but I really don’t think he was saying that’s the best Stacy can do or take one for the team at all. You forget how high of esteem he holds Billy in. From his POV, Billy is quite the catch. And I guess, as much as he likes Billy, wanting to fix him up with Stacy just shows he found Stacy “worthy” of his friend.

    Of course… like I said, he was bombarding me with questions mostly because he doesn’t know Stacy very well, and just mainly knew that Billy really thought she was pretty and interesting.

    July 30, 2002 @ 3:22 am

  6. flerly has made a Comment

    I totally forgot about the concert thing! You’re so right!

    Well, he was pumping me for information because he really didn’t know Stacy too well. Just wishful thinking on his part I guess. I hope Stacy is totally happy with her new guy friends, and I also hope she’s totally okay with me/us talking about our attempts to fix her up with our guy friend Billy. I only try because I know they’re both great people, who happened to seem to have some common interests. I’m crazy about them both, but I certainly know I’m no matchmaker.

    I AM interested, however, in seeing if we can’t update Billy’s closet to turn him into a sexy-mo-fo…. Man.. I’m just rambling. Lack of sleep does that to ya.

    July 30, 2002 @ 3:39 am

  7. schlemaggle has made a Comment

    can i go along on the quest to turn Billy into a sexy mo-fo? i mean, according to he *is* my #3 backup-boyfriend.

    i hear you on the lack of sleep thing…don’t know how i’m going to be able to keep my eyes open during this mandatory company-wide software training thing…


    July 30, 2002 @ 6:37 am

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