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Missed Me!

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 6:09 pm by flerly.

This long distance dedication goes out to the chick in the silver Camry, Georgia license plate 1414AGD, registered in Cobb County….

Missed me, bitch.

If you wonder why the license plate number is burned in my brain, well, that’s what happens when you see the ass-end of a Camry try to pull over and take out your front end. Blind spot? Hardly.. when she started pulling over, we were window to window.. I could look right over and see her blabbing on her cell phone, which is a perfectly normal thing to do when you’re racing down I-75 on a weekday afternoon at 85 mph.



  1. petulant_derek has made a Comment

    This is the reason why I have my eye on an old Ford Crown Victoria at the used auto-lot down the road. Although its in very good condition, I plan to purchase it (its dirt cheap) and immediately cover it with primer. I will install two very large passenger bus bumpers on the front and rear. In addition, there will be left and right bumper guards. Next I will install ultra-bright truck KC lights on the roof and facing BACKWARD (to blind tailgaters) on the rear deck. I will also install four (4) ultra-loud 128 dB commercial grade air horns to replace the chintzy factory horn. I will paint warning signs all over the car such as:

    • Warning! Stay clear 100 ft.
    • Road Rage Driver! Stay Clear!
    • Slow traffic to the right (In reverse letters on windshield)
    • Driver is insane – do not irritate

    That should be enough to keep idiot Nashville drivers out of my way.

    July 30, 2002 @ 1:53 pm

  2. flerly has made a Comment

    You know.. I like that idea, if I didn’t like driving my car so much. And it occurs to me that I never even worked in blowing the horn at her, I was too busy trying to move my car from the left lane over into the left “shoulder?”.. you know the little half-lane bordered by the big concrete wall? I managed to do that then slow down and drop in behind her and scared the shit out of myself thinking I was gonna hit/get knocked into the wall… She pulled away afterwards without the slightest indication that she had even realized what she’d done. Although, I keep thinking, If I’d managed to honk the horn WHILE she was pulling over on me, I might have scared her into doing something else dumb. Jeez… you can’t win. Maybe your idea is a good one afterall.

    July 31, 2002 @ 2:51 am

  3. petulant_derek has made a Comment

    I very seriously doubt she ever knew you were there or that she had nearly caused a wreck. If you were driving a Thrash-Mobile, you could have held your ground, and those bumpers would have torn that Camry to bits. And then the bonus, you get to sue her ass off 🙂

    July 31, 2002 @ 3:52 pm

  4. flerly has made a Comment

    Rock On then, you sold me! I like my car, though.. so I’m afraid I’m going to have to fix up the Eclipse with some Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers or some such. Surely some ricer on the net will have a custom body kit for my car designed with demolition derby in mind.

    Man, you don’t know how often people in this traffic make me WISH I could just knock them out of the way with my car. Getting pulled over on or out in front of down here is a daily occurance, though usually not so close as the other day.

    August 1, 2002 @ 2:38 am

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