feed Subscribe to feed

Honey, I’m home…

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Friday, February 14, 2003 at 11:18 pm by flerly.

Guess what I did today that I can’t remember the last time I did?

Use my high beams!

Yes, folks, I’m back in the land of curvy roads, no streetlights, and where there not being another car on the road is a good chance instead of slim. It’s so foreign from Atlanta it might as well be down the rabbit hole. Beautiful, rolling-hill-covered Bristol, Tennessee… though tonight it was more dark and foggy and like the middle of nowhere. When you get to places like that, where it’s dark… and maybe the lines on the road aren’t painted too brightly… and the road is black as pitch from the rain… it’s in places like that where I often with horror realize I can’t seem to see anything in front of my car and wonder how long I’ve been driving without my headlights on. Except, the dashboard’s been lit the whole way. I can see clearly how fast I’m going in the rain down this dark and foggy (and did I mention curvy?) road, so of course the headlights are on.

And then… it hits me. highbeams — I genuinely forget those exist on cars.

Though, well, at an earlier point in my journey… through the constant rain and fog that started well before the official “fog advisory area” and lasted well past it… heck, lasted until now… as in here…. Anyway, earlier I was thinking that I’ve made this trip so many times I almost feel like I could do it blindfolded. I was feeling sorry for the folks who might actually need to be able to see a road sign.

Well… it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m here, but I already mentioned it had been rescheduled and was in fact excellent. I’m still thinking about JamesT, of course, but he’s working/asleep/working anyway… probably barely misses me (maybe when his sandwiches aren’t made… maybe). Since I couldn’t be with the one I love, I had to love the one I was with… as in dear Chris Cornell. I allowed my surrogate love to serenade me the whole way up, starting with Audioslave, then the solo effort, then working my way further back in time through the Soundgarden cds all the way up to (appropriately on this dark foggy night) Fell on Black Days ending as I pulled into Mom’s driveway. It was 9pm.

Five hours on the road is a long time to think.

Between the mandatory lending my voice to compliment Chris’ every now and then (we really should record together, we sound great in my car) I managed to get a lot of thinking done, and much to my surprise not a second of it was work related.

I have in fact decided to research how to send fan mail to Chris Cornell — handwritten on paper is of course preferred, but with all the scares going on, who knows who really opens those things, so i may have to settle for fan e-mail. Shouldn’t be a problem knowing how fast I type (that’s why these entries are wordy, folks). I figured out that I’ve been listening to Soundgarden since I was a freshmen in college… Loud Love circa 1989 (if memory serves). That’s a lot of damn years to stay loyal to a man. I feel like I’ve grown and matured over the years as he has… the changing sounds of Soundgarden, the raw and soulful solo effort, and now the renewed vigor of Audioslave. It parallels my life (in my own mind, of course). I just decided I need to let the man know, in the sincerest way possible, that I love and respect him and his work and how much satisfaction he’s given me with his talent. In fact, I wrote up the whole letter in my head, but I won’t suffer you all to read it in full. You’re welcome.

I also managed to examine my feelings on the fact that tomorrow would be my father’s birthday. Sure, last week was mom’s, and I’m here to see her, but the trip actually ended up being on Dad’s birthday. I have to say, thinking about his birthday made me smile. Dad’s birthday brings to mind images of yellow cake with chocolate icing, big goofy candles shaped like numbers, pale blue work shirts with JC emblazoned over the pocket, lots of family, lots of smiles, and most of all Dad’s goofy (and wonderful) grin. He is tan (he was always tan), his fingernails are dirty, and for some reason I can hear Tennessee Ernie Ford playing on a record player somewhere. I don’t remember the year of that party, but that’s the memory that comes to mind. I couldn’t ask for a better one, though I was snapped out of my thoughts by my eyes stinging and realized I was crying. Hell, it just happened again. He’s gone. I miss him, but it’s okay. Despite the tears now, thinking about him almost always makes me smile.

Happy Birthday, Daddy.

Anyway… I’m here with the camera to see mom. Meeting up with sis and niece to do birthday stuff and wedding stuff, and I can’t wait to see them (they’re probably still another hour from getting here). I intend to annoy the hell out of them taking pictures until they take the thing away from me. =) I also intend to go out tomorrow for an additional memory stick to hold pictures for just that purpose. I need one anyway.

Oh well. I feel the pillow calling about some sleep debt I owe. I’m posting this to say I made it, JT, and I miss you.

Night all.


No Comments

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Search this blog