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oh mah gawd, wot a slacker…

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 3:48 pm by flerly.

Whew.. now i’m 2/3 done, and at this point, feeling like i’m just done done. Who really needs three mockups anyway? They can choose from these two, or give me some direction from there… These are essentially the same pictures just moved around anyway… v1 and v2 if anybody is curious. Don’t be. Oh, and here is Jay’s v1 that they trashed. Sometimes I wonder if Jay is on crack…. perhaps he just gets too much sun.

Is it time to go home?

So, I’ve been dieting for seven weeks. I went out at lunch today and bought some size 10 jeans and they are loose, damnit. I feel hot and want to be half naked 99% of the time… go me! I’ve lost almost 25 pounds. I’ve even hit the tanning bed a few times, so I’ve lost that ghostly winter glow.

Yet… in under two minutes of sitting in a restaurant yesterday with sweetie JamesT and his dad & granddad, I lost all hope and was ready to just slit my wrists with the steak knife. I swear to you, if you are female and god forbid hungry, too, stay the hell away from Rafferty’s in Kennesaw. This joint is consistently staffed by girls who will one day be on the cover of Vogue, but for now are just “working their way through community college.” There were pouty lips, perky boobs, round asses, and shiny hair bouncing about everywhere. Now, I know these women exist all over the place… you really can’t go out, especially here in Atlanta, without seeing someone who strikes you, but yesterday I was feeling surrounded — of course, they seated us right beside the hostess station, where they “hung-out” tossing their hair and giggling, so that was probably not helping.

So, I see these girls… and they are everywhere.. and they are so damned built that even I can’t stop looking at them in disbelief… and I am sitting there with three healthy average American men, who are trying to have some courtesy and not drool outright, but who are clearly as aware as I am of these freakish girls moving all around us. I’m strong, though. I can boldly ignore their glances and carry on, order food, make conversation (not too in depth of course — who can concentrate), all the while sitting there willing my ass to shrink.

Then something absolutely horrifying happens…. they bring me food. NOW I get to sit there surrounded by living Barbie dolls, who probably live off the smell of food alone, and try to scarf down a meal that I clearly could stand to skip… much like my next 50 or so meals, can’t you tell by this gut? It was unbearable. Clearly, it traumatized me.. though I have managed to find the strength to stuff food down my throat since… at least once or twice, or seven times.

Sure, by myself, in the proper selection of garments, when the lighting’s not too harsh, I’m a goddess to behold. All shall bow down and worship before begging to pleasure me with sex. BUT, the other 99.9% of the time, it’s just me… a freaking FEMALE who apparently has the distinction of not being able to score any old time she pleases. And, I ask you, how could she, when all the men she knows have the mental images of those divine Rafferty’s asses to compare me to. Uh huh. Like I cross their mind to compare.

*sigh* /depressing ramble

All that rambling, and I’ve only managed to waste half an hour. This day is not going to ever end like this. Why after that particular rant do I really wish I had a candy bar right now?

Oh well, enough of this. Perhaps there is something work-related and mindless that can distract me for a couple hours.



  1. goaticusmaximus has made a Comment

    January 1, 2001 @ 12:00 am

  2. jps has made a Comment

    Go with V1… Much more elegant.

    It’s all in the eye of the beholder. Never forget that. Meat markets have a lot on the hangers.. but when you get it home, it’s just dead meat.

    April 10, 2003 @ 8:44 am

  3. flerly has made a Comment

    thanks, but i don’t get to pick.. the customer does.

    and, yeah yeah.. i know it’s not all about what’s on the outside, i DO have a boyfriend who incredibly seems to love me and enjoy sex and all those wonderful things…. but still, i’m 99% sure i’m not starring in his fantasies built like this. I could, in fact, be you money that there are visions of the Brooke Shields wannabe’s ass floating in his mind still.

    April 10, 2003 @ 9:00 am

  4. goaticusmaximus has made a Comment

    Hey! Stop all this talking about eating, and rounded asses, and meat, damnit. I am fucking starving, and being vegetarian just isn’t all that satisfying.

    Oh, and flerly, the whole barbie doll body-image thing is not what men want. For one thing, they’re so goddamned Vanilla, they wouldn’t know real sex if it hit them in their little doll faces. They’re just high-priced, empty-souled, filler people, who wind up with bad hair, and skin stretched too tight, by the time they hit 35.

    And if it is what some men want… Well… Those men can have ‘m. May they enjoy their Buckhead lives in perfect plastic peace.

    April 10, 2003 @ 9:05 am

  5. jps has made a Comment

    Of course he’s going to put images in his head. Guys do that.. doesn’t mean a thing.. when we wake up next to who we WANT TO BE WITH… that’s all that matters. The mind wanders all over the place… the heart stays home.

    Otherwise shoot the fucker in the head.

    April 10, 2003 @ 9:30 am

  6. flerly has made a Comment

    Yeah, I know it happens. Hell it happens to me, and I do wake up next to who I want to be with. I’m not really so much upset about what he thinks about other women, or other men think about other women… I’m more just pissed off that I’m trying really hard to look and feel better, and some women who just don’t seem to try just make me feel like I might as well give up and eat whatever the fuck I want and lay on the sofa all day. Why the heck bother?

    This is just me being bitter. I want to cause men to drool, my sigother included.

    April 10, 2003 @ 9:33 am

  7. bingothemonkey has made a Comment


    Don’t know you (friend of the Goat), but I’m guilty of the same exact rant! I have to keep telling myself that, fact is, there are just some people who, genetically, don’t have to try. Or if they do, it’s usually through starving themselves or some other disorder. I even sometimes get annoyed by the people who bust their asses to look good even after they already do. Consider, though, that these girls are working at RAFFERTY’S IN KENNESAW, GA. I hate the corporate life, but I’d still rather be working in a corporate office in Atlanta. They’re not headed for Vogue, Justin’s right, they’re headed towards being Buckhead housewives. Still a charmed life. . .if you’re a robot.

    Look, you’ve lost 25 lbs. That is amazing. That is inconceivable to me at this point. Everyone in my office is on Weight Watchers and talking about “points” and how much they’ve lost. I just keep gaining (I can’t do that “group talk/weigh in” thing). I try to watch what I eat, but I can’t diet because even with the willpower, once I stop, I regain. So I just try to constantly re-teach myself how I should be eating.

    I don’t think you need soft lighting. I’m sure you’re more of what the typical male really wants. I mean they definitely look at the Barbies, but I haven’t ever found a guy that wanted me to look like that. Make yourself happy – the rest should fall into place.

    April 11, 2003 @ 2:40 am

  8. flerly has made a Comment

    You’re a sweetie, and you’re right. Justin’s right, too. I don’t envy these girls their lives, intellect, or future, just their asses. Just have to think to myself, damn I’m smart & funny & make decent money, all I need is that ass and I’d be supremely happy. At least I can go to the gym and work toward having that ass, and even if I don’t get it, I’m still smart & funny & able to afford to eat at Rafferty’s instead of having to work there. And heck, it’s not like I’m out there looking for a great guy to drool over my ass and worship me… I’ve already got one.

    I think it’s just some retarded genetic instinct in me that makes me temporarily insane when I see women like that. I can either vent in LJ about them, or else stab them all with steak knives.

    Weight Watchers is ghei. Go Low Carb. It’ll change your life.

    I think I’ll put you on my friends list, if you don’t care.

    April 11, 2003 @ 2:49 am

  9. bingothemonkey has made a Comment

    Go right ahead and add me on. I’ll do likewise.

    I have that same instinct to just look at those girls and freak out. My boyfriend keeps telling me, everytime I gain a little, that I “finally look like a girl.” I used to be MUCH smaller, though, so I have trouble with it. I have to say that it does help to have a great boyfriend, though.

    Going low carbs is hard when you don’t eat meat or fish and you have some food allergies. I try to do as much protein as I can. I don’t buy bread anymore. I only eat about two “snack-type” meals a day, usually – and I almost never eat after 6 PM. I think the main problem is that dinner typically consists of a couple of light beers. My new birth control (the “patch”)has made my boobs start pushing a D-cup, though (shut up, Justin). It just makes me look fat, though.

    Anyway, in closing, I just want to say that I think you should go with the steak knife. As long as you can get away with it!

    April 11, 2003 @ 3:18 am

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