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babble on

Posted in Crazy Wisdom on Thursday, June 26, 2003 at 12:54 pm by flerly.
Everything’s been said before
There’s nothing left to say anymore
When it’s all the same
You can ask for it by name

Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don’t forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Everything’s been said before
There’s nothing left to say anymore
When it’s all the same
You can ask for it by name

Are you motherfuckers ready
for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it,
tomorrow’s never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it

Now it’s you-know-who
I’ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don’t care
Now it’s you-know-who
I’ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don’t care
Now it’s you-know-who
I’ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don’t care
Now it’s you-know-who
I’ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don’t care

Well, he’s here. The big man with the Little name. The head of the real estate division. The jerk with the great “headcount reduction” powerpoint presentation–funny the office is like a ghost town now and he’s back again. He is here, and he is sitting right behind me. Joy of joys.

Well, I’m dressed up, but I’ve been sort of dressing up for the past couple weeks. I am getting the feeling that those around me who are resigned that their job is over and this place sucks have already decided to merely come in, goof off —fuck the dog, duck the fog— and may have some resentment toward those of us who, though we are slacking, too, are actually still doing our work fairly diligently.

Perhaps you’ve heard me speak of the nerf blow guns in the office… well, yesterday for the first time, the darts were fired at me, more precisely, over my shoulder at my monitor, in the midst of me working away with the headphones on and with David Camp parked right next to me in a chair having a (pretty serious) meeting with Carl. They simply don’t care. Today.. on official dress up day… Billy is still sporting a video game T, shorts, and flip flops, as usual. I hear Paul say to him, “Interesting dress clothes there, Bill.” Billy’s reply, “yeah, I selected these special today to see if they would fire me.”

On top of the pressure of trying to work while those around you are clearly giving up even pretending to do so, last evening I was told that there are “people” in this office who are just thankful I show up at work at all… that it doesn’t matter so much when I get here or when I leave–they don’t care. They’re just glad I’m still doing my job…. because, it seems, there are a few jobs that hinge on my job. If I were to quit, apparently they expect I would be replaced by Hawaii folks taking up the slack, and thus several positions here that depend on and support my role would no longer be essential.

Anywho.. so, work is… interesting to say the least. I’m doing my best to cope, prioritize, and just get through as if the sky isn’t falling, because doing anything else at this point just stresses me out further. And, stress is bad, mmmkay. Stress causes Kimmy to have rollercoaster-ride mood swings from hour to hour, where you don’t know if she is going to laugh or cry, but you’re pretty sure she might rip your head off if you ask her.

I feel terrible, because as much as I gripe here, it all boils down to there just being one of me to do a huge pile of work and no real resources for help. In point of fact I actually really like everyone I’m working with (which doesn’t mean I don’t cuss them and threaten to rip their lips off on occasion). In point of fact I actually really like what I’m doing here, especially now that Jason is in Hawaii and we’ve sort of got our own code-revamp team going on. I point out problems and he solves them on a grand scale. None of this site by site shit. “We” are rewriting this product from the ass-end up and making it into something that isn’t a pain to manage. We aren’t supposed to be doing that, we’re supposed to be applying splints and bandages and rigging levers and pulleys to make things seem to function, but instead we’re taking our own sweet time and really fixing things.

If the rug wasn’t being pulled out from under everyone around me….
If I actually had an assistant or two to assign overflow work to…

… life wouldn’t be so bad here.

But… it isn’t so. Billy’s not going to Hawaii. I didn’t get the offer I wanted from Hawaii, so I’m not going either. Lin Little is here today and tomorrow to deliver some from the source–straight answers to us about our status. Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

All I know is that I have a new web-based tool to manage my reworks and emails, and so others not local to me can get a sampling of what I actually do here at Initech. And I know that Jonathan’s wife wouldn’t let him drop the dough on buying the entire Muppet Show series on DVD (so he covets mine). And I know that last night’s workout has really made my abs sore. And I know that James’ idea of motivating me while I exercise is to taunt me by calling me “puss puss puss”. And, I know for sure that in less that two weeks, I’ll have a new name.

Samir: No one is this country can ever pronounce my name right. It’s not that hard: Nayee-Nanajar. Nayeenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least you’re name isn’t Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown BECAME famous and started winning Grammy’s.
Samir: Why don’t you just go by Mike, instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change it? He’s the one who sucks.

Oh yeah.. I had a dumb dream, where Jimmy called us up to say he was coming to get his shit and went on and on about how there are all these great bike trails around where we live and how one of them goes all the way up to the Carolinas near where he lives now. He is super excited and rambling and going on about how we should all go ride sometime together. Then he shows up to get stuff and he has a girl with him.. Heather… who Magoo instantly recongizes as that girl he gave a ride home to one time… who is his new girl. She isn’t very bright and she keeps pointing to stupid things around the apartment and asking if they are his… like the central air unit and a baseboard heater.. and Jimmy runs up and says oh yes, yes, that’s mine and then they proceed to whip out screwdrivers and such and try to unhook these stupid things until one of us can point out that clearly that was already in the apartment and should stay here. Meanwhile, I took a can of tuna and put it in a bowl outside our back patio door to lure Sam out back and out of sight, and amazingly Jim and Heather don’t even think of him as they are trying to cram strange things into his car. James, Maggie, and myself are mostly just standing around dumbfounded at what is going on, and wondering when he lost his mind.

But.. now it’s REALLY time for lunch.

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2 Comments

  1. bingothemonkey has made a Comment

    at least you work out. and you have the muppets on dvd. i didn’t even know that was out there. i’m buying “citizen ruth” tonight.

    June 26, 2003 @ 6:00 am

  2. bingothemonkey has made a Comment

    And the best part is when Michael calls the guys firing him “cockgobblers” when he’s in the bar with Peter.

    June 26, 2003 @ 7:44 am

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