Unbidden, unwanted, yet necessary work rants

Monday afternoon, at some location I have yet to choose, boss will be meeting me to discuss my recent letter giving notice. I’m thrilled and terrified about it. It’s beyond time to be done with this job, but without a replacement, me being done likely means the company is done. I have long battled with the notion that two other people’s jobs pretty much depend on me staying, but I simply can’t keep working at this stress level anymore.
Today has been my day to do this weeks worth of work. The day Mac built into this trip so I wouldn’t be behind for having made this journey. Brilliant plan. I’m certainly 500% productive on this crappy laptop using hotel wi-fi, so no worries on being behind. I’m especially productive when he continues to call me on the cell all day long from his classes to report issues that aren’t issues and ask questions to me about the very procedures he is here to teach agents.
Example: The “advanced” website course he “teaches” (man, I love quotes) includes a section for exporting your contacts from Outlook and importing them into our Management Center product. There is a printed manual showing the process step by step, which he has memorized. He clicks along the steps, his screen visible via the projector for all agents to see, as he says the instructions aloud. After class, one agent says she doesn’t understand that process, and wonders if he might step into her nearby office, sit down at her computer, and show her how to do it with her own contacts — essentially just do it for her. So, he sits down at her computer and calls me to walk him through the process, which is step for step the norm… no curveballs whatsoever. Yet, he can’t do it, even with me telling him the EXACT steps he has been reciting for years of doing these classes. So, he sits the customer down at her computer and puts her on the phone with me. She does it, click click click and then declares my brilliance. He thanks me, and neither of them seem to find it odd that the damn TEACHER of the class has to call somebody else to help him do this. I, however, am flabbergasted at this new display of ignorance.
You see, he has literally been doing these training classes, touring the country, for as long as I’ve been working here. The manuals are essentially unchanged from that entire time. Yet, in all these years, all he has managed to do is memorize the words and doesn’t in the slightest understand how to do any of this. I realize that it is likely that Jonathan, Pam or David usually accompanied him on these training trips, and probably were there to actually answer questions.
I also realize why he insisted to the boss that it was “imperative” that I go with him on this trip — I’m the only one left to help him. So, it doesn’t matter that I’m managing our tech support now, handling my usual graphics “pimp” orders, working on 6 brokerage redesigns, and managing critical customer Adwords campaigns — none of which I expect him to be able to do on any day — now I have to learn these training manuals and help him with the same fucking job he’s been doing for 7 years because he hasn’t learned it yet… and apparently never will.
And you want to know what is worse? This dumbass “face of our company” is making a pile more dough than I am.
SO, my dilemna:
– I’m not staying at this job without at least a $10K raise.
– Boss doesn’t have the money to give, and I know it, because it’s a sinking ship…
– EVEN IF he finds the money, I don’t honestly think I can keep juggling everything and deal with dumbass Mac
– IF I’m going to be able to manage this job, I really need a raise AND they need to hire a customer service/training person to help Mary, to help Mac, and possibly to help me connect functionality to the site graphics I’m making. And I KNOW there isn’t money for a raise AND another person.
– We are up here because we’ve just gotten a 3-year service contract signed with our largest customer, which should keep us “afloat” for that amount of time. It will include a weeklong training visit to this office every 3 months… which at present means me… with Mac.
– I am worried during this meeting Monday with the boss I’m going to lose it and tell every dumbass Mac story I can think of, and I know he and Mac are close.
– IF I say I’ll stick around long enough to train somebody… Man, I really have no idea how to train somebody on the crap I’m supposed to be doing, let alone all the crap they’ll need to know to fill in the gaps of what Mary and Mac are supposed to be doing. What poor soul do I invite into these shoes for the same bag of peanuts?
– Why is any of this my “dilemna”? Why can’t I just quit like a normal person and not be overwhelmed with guilt at what my leaving might cause? All the other “smart” people in the company did.